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Never in my life had I felt this unsure of what to do with a woman. Most of my previous relationships were so easy. I didn’t have to do anything because they wanted to be with me for the clout. Now I was faced with a woman that I actually wanted to be with, and I felt like I was treading in unknown waters, unsure of where the sharks were that would eat me the moment I made a wrong move. Every part of me wanted to stay afloat when it came to Maggie. After all of the shit I had done in my life, fate was finally giving me an opportunity at something good and testing to see if I was going to fuck this up too.
Maggie
The game against San Francisco had been postponed a day due to the gray clouds that blanketed the city, spewing raindrops on and off throughout the morning. Olivia had texted me asking if we were going to go to the pier earlier since we had planned to go that night after the game. She had continued by telling me that she wasn’t scared of a little rain as long as “Pretty Boy” wasn’t. So, despite having avoided him since our conversation the previous day, I sent Tommy a message.
Me: Olivia wants to head to the pier earlier. You free?
I tried to ignore the way my heart pounded nervously as I waited for his response. Or the way my throat constricted at the thought of him taking back his earlier decision to go on this excursion with us. I knew that if I acknowledged the way I was feeling about a simple text message, I had bigger problems on my hands. My phone was a ticking time bomb that had a sensitive fuse, so I left it on my bed and started to pace my hotel room. I debated heading down to the lobby for an early lunch or walking to the coffee shop next door to grab something, anything to take my mind off the shortstop with blue eyes that had begun to stain every part of my thoughts like a spilled inkwell. The ding of my phone provided only a brief moment of distraction before the very person I was desperate to expel from my mind became the center of focus.
Tommy: Meet you in the lobby in ten?
Me: See you then!
The feeling that spread through my body when Tommy’s name had appeared on my screen was almost euphoric. Everything tingled all the way down to my toes as I stared at our conversation a moment longer before I sent Olivia a message.
Me: Meet you in the lobby in five. Be there or be square.
Olivia: I could never be square.
A smile spread across my face at Olivia’s response. To say that today would be interesting was putting it lightly. I was terrified that Olivia would sniff out the lie that was Tommy’s and my relationship. But I was more terrified that Olivia would completely steamroll Tommy today as she grilled him, because I knew she was going to grill him.
Tommy was already down in the lobby when I walked in, much to my surprise. He was dressed down today in a pair of white shorts and a light blue button-down, an umbrella dangling from his wrist. I knew without even having to look that the blue of his shirt would complement his eyes because those eyes had been haunting my thoughts for days. He stood up from the chair he had been lounging in when he saw me. I couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes lit up as he looked at me, and a small part of me wished that he could look at me like that for real.
“Olivia coming?” he asked me once I was standing in front of him.
“She should be down soon.”
The energy that radiated off Tommy felt like something much more than a fake relationship, but I had to continue to remind myself that it could never be more than that. Because the moment I let myself believe that the energy between Tommy and me was something more, all of this would crumble around me. All of my fears would be confirmed that I wasn’t meant to find happiness after Luke.
That he was my one and only.
My life’s soulmate.
Before I could think anything more on the topic, Olivia came bounding into the lobby with the biggest smile on her face. “It’s about damn time that this happened.”
She slung her arms around Tommy’s and my waists before she started walking us toward the door. Tommy looked down at me over the top of Olivia’s head, his eyes widening in what I was sure was fear.
Oh yeah, Tommy. You should probably be very afraid.
We called an Uber to take us to the pier, and when it showed up it was already packed with people even as the sky dropped rain down on us. Neither Tommy nor I had planned for this to be a public appearance, but it seemed like that would be unavoidable if any fans took pictures of us. At the very least there wouldn’t be any paparazzi.
Even though the sky was gray and the sun was nowhere in sight, the pier looked magical. Every building was a different color. They brought light to the otherwise dreary day. Olivia and I huddled close to Tommy as he held the umbrella high over our heads. As the rain came down harder, Olivia pulled the three of us into the first store she saw, a gift shop, to duck out of the rain. She disappeared around a display as soon as we crossed the threshold, leaving me and Tommy alone. After being her friend for a few years, I knew what she was doing. She was giving Tommy time to get comfortable around her before she pounced.
I walked over to a display full of shells and sand, allowing Tommy to trail after me. It was like we played a dance around the shop. One of us moved and the other moved closer from wherever they were in the store, like we were each one side of a rubber band. When one side stretched too far, the other would snap back within reasonable range.
The two of us were biding time until Olivia was ready to steer the day in the direction she wanted it to go. As Olivia went to wait in the checkout line, my eyes were drawn to a rack of postcards in the corner. My fingers reached out and brushed over the pictures as my eyes dissected each detail of the shot.
“Do you collect?” Tommy was hovering over my shoulder, inches behind me.
“I do.”
“To keep track of the places you’ve been?” he asked. I shook my head, my eyes locked on the shot of the city I was looking at. The photographer had perfectly captured the way the sun bathed the buildings in a soft, golden glow. The shadows stretched long in the photos and were complemented by the way the sun hit the bay.
“For the picture.” I flashed him a cheeky smile over my shoulder. It was probably the last thing that he had expected me to say. Tommy’s arm reached around me as he grabbed the postcard I had been looking at from the rack before turning to head toward the counter.
“What are you doing?” I called after him.
“It’s something you want,” Tommy replied simply as he laid the postcard down on the counter for the cashier.
