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Justplease, let it stop fucking hurting like this. The pressure in my chest has been keeping me up at night, drenched in sweat and gasping for air.
I’m dying painfully every hour without her.
“Drew?” Maddy snaps.
Her eyes are wide and she folds her arms waiting for an answer.
“I’m not going to beg.”
She throws her arms wide, huffing in disgust. It’s the same with both her and Mum. It’s in their words, their eyes, their movements. Disgust and disappointment seeps from them whenever they’re near me.
I could drown in it.
“You cheated on her. After everything that’s happened. It’s the worst possible thing you could have done.”
I press my finger and thumb into my bloodshot eyes and rub until they sting. I don’t correct her. Whether I cheated or not, Sophie’s gone.
Her and our babies are gone.
Maddy wrinkles her nose at all the paperwork strewn across my desk. “Why are you here, working like it never even happened? Why aren’t you in LA? Camping on her doorstep until she speaks to you?”
“That’s more Dax’s style.” My lip curls into a humorless smirk as I recall him having to grovel to get Rose back last year.
“Well, do something.” Maddy stamps her foot on the spot, anger bubbling up inside her and making her look like she’s about to explode. “You aren’t the only one who loses if she never comes back, you know? What about Mum? What about me? They’re our family too.”
“Sophie made her decision the second she stepped foot on that plane and went to her sister’s place in LA.”
“And you’re just going to take it?” Maddy flops into the seat on the opposite side of my desk and rubs a hand over her lips, her eyelids blinking rapidly. “I don’t get it. You love her. Go and fix this.”
“Maddy.” I exhale slowly, my chest sagging beneath my shirt and tie. “There is no fixing this. I promised Sophie I’d neverlie to her. Another woman had my dick in her mouth. That’s the truth.”
She huffs and its laced with the familiar disgust again.
“So you’re a cheat like Dad? Is that it? You inherited it from him just like Sophie said?” Concentration pinches her brow as she stares at me. “You told me Sophie knew about Dad and the donor?”
Heat prickles across the back of my neck.
“I did tell her.”
“Then why did she say—?”
“I don’t know, she probably forgot,” I bark, slamming my palm down onto the table and making it vibrate.
Maddy shakes her head and gets to her feet. Her lunch break is almost over. She’s spent every one in my office since Sophie left, trying to talk me into going to LA after her. The second day she brought a plane ticket with her. But I canceled it the moment she left.
Sophie won’t come home.
I know that much.
“You know I love you.” She scoops up her purse from the floor. “But right now I find it hard to look at you.”
My jaw clenches until pain lances up through it, making my left eye twitch.
“I hope the blow job was worth it,” she mutters as she walks out of my office and slams the door.
The whiskey burns a trail down my throat before sitting heavily in my stomach. I haven’t eaten properly for days, so the extra warmth it leaves low in my gut soon begins to mutate into a welcoming ache.
I sneer at the feeling and then signal to the bartender for another as I drain my glass.
