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That sense of anxiety and then panic.

All my senses are going nuts.

My brain is releasing so many chemicals at once.

My body has activated the fight-or-flight sequence.

I just have to ride this out.

I pause and take three deep breaths.

You know, sometimes in life, the right thing to do kind of sucks.

It really does.

I can’t be near him.

There’s no way.

I can’t be near someone who doesn’t respect that I have a boyfriend.

You know?

And what’s Jax going to do? Keep following me around? Showing up to random places? Act like he’s better than what I have?

As if I don’t know what my reality is right now…

I spot a bench and I quickly sit down.

I place my elbows onto my legs and I lower my face into my hands.

I repeat to myself in my head…

I did the right thing just now.

Over and over, I keep repeating it in my head.

And then out of nowhere a question pops up.

If it was the right thing to do, then why do I have to keep repeating it… and why do I feel crappy right now?

28

JAX

I lift my shoulder and lift off my feet for a split second to put Jordan into the boards.

The thunderous boom is followed by the obvious whistle from the refs.

I roll my eyes and turn.

I’m tossed right into the penalty box for two minutes.

Jordan is fine.

Fucking pussy.

I’ve left us shorthanded.