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Now, it was his turn to glare. “I said I was here to help. That implies that I’m planning to stay.”
“Implications and actions are two different things.” He clenched his jaw but said nothing, so I moved back to the matter at hand. “Having you around sounds like a costly mistake to me.”
“Costly, how?”
I ticked things off on my fingers. “Furniture, medical bills, ammunition, and liquor, for starters. That’s if you and Grey manage not to kill each other in the first week. You’re already causing issues, and you’ve been here less than an hour.”
Dominic nodded, running a hand over his stubbled jaw while he thought about it. “You’re probably right, but it’s not like you don’t have the money to replace whatever we break. As for morale, that’s not something I can help you with.”
No part of me wanted to be stuck in a Dominic vs. Greyson war. Frankly, I didn’t have the time or energy to deal with their shit, but another part of me was also relieved. If he was honest about his intentions, having Dominic as my underboss would be a boon. I’d have an extra layer of protection, someone I trusted to have my back without stabbing it. I’d also have someone I trusted to keep the family pointed in the direction I wanted. A leader who would help the people in our city, not just hurt them.
If he stayed.
“Do you even want the job?” I asked.
Dominic snorted. “No.”
“Then why?—”
“I came for you.” He frowned like he hadn’t meant to say that and shoved a hand through his hair again. It was starting to stick up all over the place, and it reminded me of him as a preteen. A little bit of that boyish charm peeking through. It was just enough to push away some of my irritation. “I always intended to. I was just…”
“Busy.”
Our eyes caught, and I knew we were both thinking of all the ways he’d been tied up somewhere else. Or rather, with someone else. Surprisingly, he looked a little ashamed, his eyes focused on his fingers picking at a hole in his jeans. “Something like that.”
“So, why now?”
He looked up again. “You need me.”
I’d needed him years ago, but he didn’t need to know that.
There was a fierceness in his eyes as he continued. “You need friends around here. People who want to protect you. People who would die for you.”
That was the last thing I needed. “I don’t want that.”
Dominic softened, reaching a hand across the desk to slide over mine. I stared down at them, feeling the warmth of his skin like a balm for my soul. “I know you don’t, Mari. I know this isn’t the life you wanted, but it’s the one you’ve got, and there will always be sacrifices for those in power.”
“Maybe, but they should be mine to bear.” I tried to pull my hand away, but he refused to let go. When I looked up, that fierceness in him had grown threefold.
“That’s not how this works. That’s not why Rey stepped in front of you.”
I yanked harder, trying to pull free in earnest. I was pissed off. He didn’t know what everyone else did because he hadn’t been here. I didn’t want to talk about Rey’s death. Like a child pretending that monsters weren’t real, I wanted to stick my fingers in my ears and scream into the void.
I took a controlled breath and calmed myself. My office was not the place to have a breakdown. That was for later when I was alone. When I didn’t feel like I was splintering to pieces anymore, I spoke. “Let me go, Dominic.”
“No. I know it hurts, but Rey died doing his duty. Protecting his queen. Don’t dishonor him by wishing that away.”
I stopped fighting.
Was that what I’d been doing, dishonoring my cousin? Had I been overlooking his sacrifice as something other than what it was? He’d sworn to be by my side, to protect me at all costs. He’d done that, and he’d lost his life in the process. As his family, I hated myself for being responsible, but I knew Rey. Even if we hadn’t been in the life, he’d have stepped in front of that bullet for me a thousand times over.
The realization healed a tiny piece of me.
I didn’t realize I was crying until Dominic pulled me from my chair and into his arms. He palmed my cheeks, wiping away the tears like we were still lovers. I wanted to lean in, to let him hold me. Like Greyson, there was love in Dominic’s embrace, but unlike him, there was also romantic history. Potential. Which was why I knew that, despite how much I liked Dominic’s kindness, I had to put a stop to it.
“I don’t cross professional lines, Dominic. If you’re my underboss, that’s it.”
He shook his head, his fingers wrapping loosely in my hair. “I know I’ve been gone a long time, but there’s never been an it for us, mariposa.”
