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“That doesn’t matter; she’s still listed as next of kin and the only one who can make the decision as to whether or not we remove your son from life support.”
“Isn’t there a way to fight this?”
“I suppose you can contact a lawyer, yes.”
A lawyer, I’ve gotta get a lawyer. Okay, think, think. How much is this gonna cost me? I left the room almost in a daze and turned around twice because I couldn’t remember what I was doing or where I was going.
My family has a lawyer, but he doesn’t handle things like this; he’s more of an estate lawyer. But maybe there’s someone at his firm. I tried calling my husband, but he wasn’t picking up.
I left the hospital in a daze, not aware of my surroundings, and even bumped my shoulder into the wall a time or two. Outside in the early evening twilight, I tried to catch my breath as soon as I stepped outside in the fresh air and was almost run over. There was a lot of commotion, and a man was yelling, but I was too distraught to hear what he was saying or even look in his direction.
I did have enough sense to move out of the way of the crowd of people that came rushing past me.
* * *
THUNDER
* * *
I’m goingto kill that fucking doctor. We were just in her office about eight hours ago; she couldn’t see this shit coming? I told her ass I wanted to move closer to the hospital when the time came; I could’ve rented a hotel or some shit for the occasion and had all my girl’s friends and family there with her, which I would’ve done had I know today was the day.
First of all, fuck this shit. She didn’t even know she was in labor; I fucking went into labor, yes, get that, me Thunder McCall. To make matters worse, her team was there; my men, rough around the edges, badass, no-nonsense strike-to-kill men, were in my kitchen at my behest because I’d lost my fucking mind and decided that everyone had to be there just in case something popped off with the baby.
It wasn’t bad enough that I was wearing an apron and baking a tray of snicker noodles, doodles, what the fuck because that’s what she said she wanted.
I had just taken the tray out of the oven, and she was laughing about something with my sister and her grandmother, who were keeping her from losing her shit while I baked, when a pain hit me in the gut so hard and so unexpectedly that I almost sent the tray flying.
“What the fuck!” I looked around the room at all the startled faces, but before I could say anything more, my knees almost buckled from another searing pain.
I had to lean against the counter and take huge breaths, dragging in huge lungfuls of air as the room spun around me. Then I heard it, “Oh no, my water broke.” The panic in her voice and the scared look in her eyes when I looked over at her, was enough to make me forget my own pain, and I started barking out orders, but her team was already moving.
“Get him in the car. Come on, Miss.” Cody, that fuck, sounded cool, calm and collected.
“I can take my own woman, fuck me.” This one made me double over, and I’m sure I heard snickering.
Joy ran up the stairs to our room to grab the bag I had waiting at our bedroom door for the last month, while everyone else headed for the door. Grandma was on the phone calling whoever needed to be called, including Millie and Evelyn, while I tried not to fall flat on my face. I had the Doc on speed dial, so I was the one who called her as soon as we got in the SUV, but I don’t even know what I said to her; in my ears, the words sounded like babbling.
“Babe, why are you yelling?” I looked at her mouth, trying to make sense of what she was saying, and she was eating the fucking noodle-doodles. She had the whole damn pan back there with us.
“You….” I started to lecture her about some shit; who knows since that’s all I’ve been doing for the last couple of weeks is lecturing her ass about something or another because she doesn’t listen for shit anymore since she knows I can’t do anything to her.
Every five minutes or so, that pain that felt like something was cutting me in half would hit and cut my breath off, and I’d have to grit my teeth and look out the window so she didn’t see my pain. My ass, it was so she didn’t laugh at me. I remember the laughter from the morning sickness bullshit, and the disrespect still burns my ass.
I asked her first before rolling down the window and sticking my face outside in the wind. The mountain air felt good going down. When I pulled my head back in, these fucks were having a conversation about some TV show the lot of them were hooked on.
I’d added a female to her team, just one, so there should be four men and one woman, but she’d neutered my fucking team. These fucks. I don’t even wanna get into the shit they’re into, but the TV show was just one of them.
Joy was in the backseat looking terrified, and Grandma was holding her hand and talking her through it. I wish somebody would talk me the fuck through this shit. I realized at some point that I had a death grip on Amanda’s hand, and from the looks of it, it was painful, but she didn’t make a sound, and when I looked over at her, she didn’t seem scared or nervous, none of the things I was worried about happening to her.
“We’re having a baby.” She whispered the words like they were a secret or some shit, and I nodded my head like an idiot with a wide-ass grin on my face. My sons were coming to meet me, finally.
I’d spent so much time talking to them, imagining them, not just when I was with her but wherever the urge hit me to have a talk with my boys, that I was past ready to meet them in the flesh. I’d long overcome the fear that I would be like my parents. For one thing, she wouldn’t let me, and I wouldn’t want that for her or the beautiful babies she’s growing inside her.
All I had to do was not just remember how my parents were but recall how I felt in any given situation and what I would’ve wanted at that time. I know I’m not going to be perfect, but the two of us together will get there.
Her soft gentleness and my gruff, hard-ass stance they’d balance themselves out, and we’d get the job done. Even with the morning sickness, I couldn’t wait to wake up in the morning to play with them and talk to them right before doing their mother.
I got kinda spooked a few days ago when I was fucking her from behind up against the wall. My hand, as usual when I was taking her this way, was on her tummy, and I think both my kids kicked the shit out of my hand. I took that to mean that they wanted me to leave their mother the fuck alone, and I haven’t touched her since.
