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“Shut up.” I elbowed her and turned the channel, sure enough there was a crime show on HLN called Black Widow and it had just started. “Oooo, bet he cheated.”
“Nah.” She crossed her arms. “It always starts that way, they’re so happy, in love, the world is they’re oyster then bam!”
I jumped when she clapped her hands together. “Bam what?”
Bri dropped her hands into her lap. “Usually it starts slow, you don’t just wake up and go, hey I think I’m going to slowly poison the person I love to death by way of his morning coffee, might take me six months, but I’m a nurse they’d never suspect me and neither would he, because I’m the perfect wife, meanwhile he’s been cheating with his brother’s fiancé all along.”
I blinked at her. “That was scary detailed, care to share your trauma with the class?”
“We need popcorn.” She stood up on shaky legs, then fell back down onto the couch. I caught her and gently laid her against the pillow. “Ugh, I hate feeling dizzy.”
“You’ll be fine. Just sit, I’ll make the popcorn, plus do you really think I’m going to let you touch my snack after talking about poisoning your lover?”
Her smile fell. “But you aren’t my lover, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Does that mean you’d poison me if I was?”
“Never.” She scoffed after a few moments of silence. “I’d probably just hit you over the head with a bat or cut your brakes.” A grin followed.
A very scary grin.
“On that note.” I walked past the couch. “I’m going to be paranoid for life and for your information, I was a great lover and why are we using the word lover? It’s like our conversations have done nothing but go downhill since the grandma talk.”
“Loverrrrr.” Bri laughed. “Hey at least you didn’t give me your flower or take mine, we could be having that conversation.”
“Please, your flower was probably plucked years before I even met you. You clearly weren’t a virgin and terrified me the first time we slept together.”
I grabbed the popcorn from the cupboard and popped it into the microwave and pressed start.
“Repeat that?” she asked from the couch. “I scared you during sex? Because that’s kind of the message I’m getting here, and it’s not a sexy sex one.”
I leaned against the counter and locked eyes with her. “You don’t remember?”
“Of course I remember!”
“Hitting me in the face with your elbow mid-orgasm? Then pulling my hair out? I woke up with blood on my chest from the talons you call nails.”
She made a face. “It wasn’t that bad.”
“Oh no, it wasn’t bad at all, best sexual experience of my life to date.” Her cheeks burned bright red. “Except for the whole physical injury thing, I had to explain to my boss at work why I had a black eye, told him I ran into the door and was sent to HR that same afternoon to talk about potential abuse at home and the workplace. They said most victims blame objects, not people.”
Bri burst out laughing. “Okay, you never told me you got pulled into HR. And hey, they were just doing their jobs!”
“Bri, I had to come clean and finally tell them that I had really rough sex with my hot girlfriend and things got a little bit crazy but that I had zero regrets and am in a safe space also known as the apartment I share with her.”
Bri grinned. “What did they say?”
The microwave went off; I pulled out the popcorn, shook it, then carefully opened it up so the steam wouldn’t hit me in the face and poured it into a glass bowl and brought it over. “Oh, they still gave me a pamphlet, that one was on burnout and how we tend to fantasize over things in order to deal with stress.”
Bri snorted into her hands. Yes, hilarious. Almost got a cramp from laughing so hard.
I sighed. “Yup, get it out, all the laughter.”
“Why did you never tell me this?” She grabbed a fistful of popcorn and started eating.
I shrugged. “Because I didn’t want…” I sighed and looked away. “Let’s just watch the show.”
She grabbed my arm. “Tell me. We are partners.”
