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“When Beau asked if we’d ever dated someone before and I said yes …” He paused, and she lifted her eyes to his. He looked uncomfortable. It was intriguing and frustrating that he could be so competent and with it, except when it came to romance or emotions. She was the same so she didn’t blame him, but how could they ever date if they couldn’t communicate about emotional topics?
She nodded to encourage him when he didn’t continue.
“The truth is…” He cleared his throat. “I was engaged two years ago.”
“Engaged?” Ike had let down his guard and fallen in love. She blinked quickly, but the picture didn’t change. “But you said you’d made a vow of celibacy. Yesterday morning on the drive here.”
“I didn’t know how to bring it all up. I apologize.”
Ugh. Now she was the awkward one. But she felt a little lied to. Her defenses went up, and she lifted her hands as if it was no big deal.
“Don’t apologize,” she said. “It’s not as if you and I are close and you need to share your deepest secrets.”
He studied her as if checking for a lie. She was lying. She wanted to be close to him and she wanted him to share secrets. Schooling her features like she’d been taught, she held his gaze.
After several long moments, he swallowed and said, “I hope I haven’t blurred the lines with this job. I’ve let down my guard around you a few times. For the fake relationship.”
Oh, wow. She’d started it by saying they weren’t close, but he’d taken it to the next level. He could’ve shoved an ice pick into her heart and not hurt her quite as much. She meant nothing to him. It was just a job. He’d let his guard down for the fake relationship. End of story.
He wasn’t feeling a connection to her that was yanking him in and making him want to change his life path.
And here she was thinking like some teenager with a crush, wanting to kiss him, loving the pretending, thinking they could have a future together.
Tears stung at the corners of her eyes. Tears! Her. She was Myra Tueller. The Warrior Woman. She didn’t cry over some guy.
Yet Ike was so much more than some guy.
“Don’t worry about it.” She grabbed the Propel bottle and sprang to her feet.
Ike was too quick. He was suddenly in front of her, and she was pinned between his large frame and the arm of the couch. He looked her over, his blue eyes full of concern. Why did he do that? He obviously wasn’t into her like she was into him. If he’d called her bluff and said he wanted to share secrets, she would’ve talked all night. If he would’ve asked, she would’ve altered her life plans to be with him.
“I need to go,” she whispered. If she spoke too loudly, he’d hear the emotion in her voice.
Unfortunately, the tears that were pricking at her eyes suddenly spilled over.
Ike’s gaze filled with panic.
Myra closed her eyes to hide from the humiliation of him seeing that she had lied, that she wanted to be close. He was the only man who’d ever wrought emotion out of her.
More wetness trailed down her cheeks and more humiliation filled her. Had she just let tears fall in front of Ike Porter? Tears created by realizing he wasn’t interested in her and that she’d been making up fantasies in her mind the past two days.
Where was all her toughness and professionalism? Crying wasn’t her. Or was it? What if inside she was a soft, loving woman yearning for connection and joy in the arms of this tough man? She could still be the Warrior Woman for the rest of the world.
Ike’s fingertips brushed the wetness from her cheek. Her eyes flew open, and warmth filled her. His gaze wasn’t panicked now. It was … full of regret.
“Myra, I …” He softly brushed her other cheek. “Did I do this?”
As usual, she trembled from his touch, but she could not let herself get caught up in the beauty of his touch right now. “I’m exhausted, Ike. It’s been a long couple days.”
He studied her. She wasn’t sure if he wanted her to admit that he’d hurt her or if she wanted to tell another lie and this time claim she was an emotional woman who cried all the time. She couldn’t think of the last time she’d cried. When her mom had died?
“It has.” He lowered his hand to his side, but he didn’t back up. He stayed right in her space. “I would never want to hurt you.”
“Nobody could hurt me,” she insisted. “I’m Myra Tueller. Warrior Woman.” She gave him a brilliant smile, hiding the pain as best she could.
“You are.” He nodded and then swallowed. “Your purpose in life is to protect and serve as the best warrior woman this world has ever known.”
She blinked at him. Three days ago, she would’ve thought that was the perfect description of her. Now she was confused because of the man standing much too close to her.
