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“Aleksandr, I-”
He presses his fingers to my lips. “Shush, I need your full attention.” I nod, holding my tongue at bay, ready to hear this important news.
“Where do you think we are right now? What do you think is happening?”
“We are sitting in your bed, in your bedroom. You are making me answer questions that seem irrelevant and useless. Why?” My brows crease as I try to focus on exactly where we are. The thought falls short when he opens his mouth, and it begins moving once more.
“Because we aren’t in my house. We aren’t in just any bed. This isn’t real.” He puts his head down as shame crosses his features. “You’re sick, Min Stjärna. You’re sick, and you’ve needed help. I’ve been here to help, but it isn’t enough. You need to wake up for me.”
“Okay… and now I think you might be sick. Tell me, what do you mean?”
“I mean…,” he exhales the breath he was holding. “I mean that we are in your room, inside Three Norns Hill.”
“Okaaay,” I respond, drawn out. “And why the hell would I be in Three Norns Hill? You’re saying I’m demented or something? I’m a nutcase? Like, seriously, Aleksandr, what in the fuck are you talking about?”
“Take a deep breath, steady yourself. I’m about to explain everything, but I need you to stay calm and bear with me because I’m just getting started.” His face fills with sadness and pity as he speaks his next words, and I realize they will haunt me until the day they bury me in the cold earth.
“Tyr isn’t here anymore. He hasn’t been here since the hospital. In fact, he never left.”
“What do you mean he isn’t here? No shit, it’s just me and you. Why would he be in the hospital? Are you saying that’s where he works now or something?”
“No. I mean… he died. In the hospital, a few days after you were rescued from the island.”
“No,” I shake my head in disbelief. “He’s not dead. I live with him. He bought a beautiful house, and we moved in together. You came to the house last night and picked me up! You were there! He’s been gone a lot because of his job, but he’s not dead. Okay? He can’t be dead. Wait… Am I dead? No, that isn’t right. He may be turning into a piece of shit person, but he isn’t dead. Right? And how do you explain literally everything else? It’s all a lie?”
“You’re freaking out, and you’re rambling.” He grabs my upper arms and strokes up and down, attempting to comfort me. “This is good. Ask all your questions.”
“I just did!” I stand up and begin nervously pacing the floor. “Of course, I’m freaking out! What gives you the right to tell me these things? Why should I believe you? How do I know you’re not the crazy one? Because it sure as hell seems that way to me.”
“Look around, Nova. Tell me what you see. Does this look normal? Open your eyes. Open and see what I see, please.” He runs his hands through his hair, almost squeezing his head in irritation.
“Why are you getting frustrated? What did you expect me to do? How do you think I should handle what you’re telling me?”
“I am frustrated, but not with you, in this damn situation. I just want you to realize what’s going on and for you to be here with me. Here. In this reality. Where I feel just as confused as you do. Frustrated that you don’t know where you are. Who you are!”
My mouth opens slightly to speak, but my brain’s not allowing anything to come out. It’s running in circles, trying to process everything at the same time.
“Sit back down. Please?”
So many questions, but not enough answers. Alek said something about ‘after I was rescued from the island,’ so I know that was real. Tyr dying in the hospital, though? That doesn’t make sense. We have a house together; we live together, and even my parents said it was okay. Did any of that happen? What about all the times he hit me, raped me, abused and used me? Did I hallucinate all of it? There is no way that was all my imagination.
He’s crazy. Alek is crazy, and I need to get out of his house before he does something to me.
“I’ve been supposedly,” I make air quotes with my fingers, “locked up in a loony bin for gods-know how long, and you think you just know who I truly am?!” I shout at him while also sitting down like he asked.
“Aleksandr. Answer me.” I look at his face and see nothing but pain in his expression.
“I’m just speaking my mind, Nova. Take as long as you need to. Just come out when you’re ready.” He stands and turns, facing the door. I get to my feet as well. Part of me wants to stay right next to him so he can explain everything. But another part wants to shove him out of the room and make him get as far away from me as possible.
“In the drawer next to you is some chocolate candy. You need food. Feel free to eat on those if you want to, because we missed breakfast. I’ll be down the hall.”
He turns his attention back to me and grabs the back of my neck with both hands, cradling my ears between his pointer fingers and thumbs. "Just wake up, Nova. Wake up. For me. Please." He gently strokes my temples with his thumbs and digs his fingertips into the back of my head, tangling them in my hair. “For me. For us,” he whispers.
The moment he walks away, I grab the pillow and throw it at the white door. I have no desire to eat anything, especially since he told me to. That is, until my stomach growls. I sit back down on the bed, open the nightstand drawer, and pull out the chocolate. It’s slightly deformed but still in decent shape. I pull a piece from the bag and bite into it. They are filled with something soft and pink, but it just tastes like dark chocolate.
How have I gone so long and not realized something was wrong with him? Or that there’s something wrong with me. How have I not figured out that shit isn’t real? What if this is all just one big joke? What if he isn’t crazy, or I’m not actually crazy, and this is all just a crazy misunderstanding? Where the fuck are my parents? Where is Aimee? Who am I?
Where am I?
