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I really don’t get what game he’s playing. Maybe he’s expecting me to beg for him to take me back after spending some time apart.
As I wait for church to begin, I stare up at the altar. The same altar that Lachlan delivered my penance to me on the night before. He worshiped my body. He made me come alive.
And honestly, how can I not be thinking about how I was just fucked with a cross up there last night? I’m surprised the church didn’t go up in flames when I walked in here today.
This Mass is a somber one for both Lachlan and me. We both knew this was going to be the last Sunday homily he would ever give. Once Father Greg receives his notice next week, there is no way he will be allowed to preside over a Sunday Mass.
Lachlan grips the sides of the podium before walking out from behind it.
We lock eyes for a moment before he starts his last reflection on the readings. I see resolve when I look at him. I have never been more sure about our decision to be together.
“Today’s readings focused on one central theme. Do you know what that theme is?”
He looks around the room before continuing.
“Hope. I’ve always said that hope is the most dangerous and powerful feeling someone can have. Even more powerful than love itself. Hope gives one the ability to move forward when life seems out of bounds, when you feel despair, and when you want to give up. That’s when hope steps in and gives you something to get up for the next day, to stand up tall and push ahead. Hope brings you a level of resolve that the choices you are making are the right path for you.”
My tears are glistening with pride as he continues.
“Even as a man of God, standing before you here today, I’ve scarcely allowed myself to hope for more. Hope should not be confused with want or need. Hope goes beyond that. Remember that even in your darkest days, God is here to guide you to the path you need. To give you hope that it’ll get better. I hope you all remember that as you live your lives.”
Lachlan has given me just that—hope. I won’t take it for granted. Not today, not ever.
After Mass ends, I gather up my belongings and make my way outside the church and onto the steps.
That’s when I spot him.
Standing on the bottom step, eyes fiercely looking right at me and anger exuding from his body. Kevin has shown up again. He’s talking to Missy and her husband, Frank. I didn’t see him in Mass.
He must have met them here. Why is he using the church as the place to mentally torment me?
Missy slyly grins at me before giving me a faint wave. That fucking bitch.
She walks toward me. Of course, she does.
“Good morning, Avery. How are you doing today?”
“Just fine, Missy. I see you’re here with Kevin, so I think it’d be for the best if we don’t speak with one another right now.”
“Oh nonsense, poor Kevin is so down about you leaving him. Rumor has it for a much younger man. Are you playing cougar now, Avery?”
One of Missy’s eyebrows raises slightly as she tries to goad me.
What is she talking about? Trying to get me to say something about what I’ve been up to.
She’s digging for Kevin.
I didn’t realize they were so close. What was that meeting she attended with him the other day? Kevin was never involved in anything church related without me. I know nothing about whatever business it is they are tending to for the church.
“No, Missy, as I’m sure you know, I found Kevin, pants down inside his assistant,” I say with my perfect smile in place. I said it loud enough for him and everyone around me to hear. I could have sworn I just saw him mutter to Frank, fucking bitch.
It’s his fault he’s having Missy bait me like this. What does he expect?
“Oh my. My poor dear, bless your heart,” she says, pretending to have sympathy.
“I must be going now,” I interrupt.
I turn on my heels and backtrack to leave down a set of side steps. Lachlan is looking at me in the distance with a worried expression on his face. I text him to meet me at Jackson’s.
