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"Create a hurt that she could feel. And take away. To make it heal." Jakes eyes drifted as he spoke rhythmically, as if he were reciting a poem or lyrics. Then his gaze came back to mine with renewed ferocity. "I get it. But you shouldn't do it anymore."
I nodded my agreement, setting my hands on his beautifully bare stomach. He was lean, with subtle but powerful cuts around each muscle group. The thin line of hair below his belly button felt silky under my fingers as Jake leaned into my touch.
"Turn over." He commanded, with dark eyes.
I hesitated a moment, confused. Then, did as he said. Jake grabbed my hips and lifted me up onto my knees. The denim slid slowly down my legs and I fell forward as he pulled. I felt him touch the exposed skin on the backs of my thighs as he peeled the denim away.
I'd never felt as vulnerable as when his lips touched low on my bare back. I liked the way it felt, but it was so unexpected, so alien. I froze like a thief caught in a spotlight; glad he couldn't see my face.
The heat of his breath disappeared. The cushion beneath me shifted. "Angel?" I turned to face his raised eyebrows. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to."
"I want to." I was glad the lights were low. I didn't want him to see how tense I was.
"You're sure?"
"Yes." I nodded.
Two thumps and Jakes shoes hit the concrete floor behind him. Quickly standing, Jake removed everything from his lower half in one motion. Before I could appreciate the sight of him, he swooped back down, forcing my body onto the chaise until he was, once more, completely on top of me. His magical kisses relaxed me. His gifted hands held me tight.
A languorous moan rumbled through my chest as he moved his mouth down my neck. "Oh, I like that." Jake whispered as he nibbled my ear. "Are you noisy? Should I make you scream?"
I gasped and froze; too shocked to remember what I was doing just a moment ago.
Jake pulled back just enough to look me in the eye. "I'm making you uncomfortable." It wasn't a question.
My hands suddenly tingled. My flushed cheeks ran cold.
Jake sighed and sat up. "It's okay, Angel. I'm not trying to take advantage of you."
I sat up, too. "I want this. I do. It's just-I've never . . . you know. And I don't want to disappoint you."
His shoulders dropped while the gaze he'd kept trained on me shifted to the wall beyond. He offered a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "This is wrong." He shook his head. "We should wait."
My heart seemed to crack at those last three words and I couldn't hide my regret for telling him. I couldn't explain how I felt. I hadn't snuck away that morning, planning on throwing myself at Jake. I was just going to watch him sing and pretend he was doing it for me. But he asked me for this and I was more than willing to give him my all. I just didn't know how.
The hot pricks of tears swelled behind my eyes, as did the shame of my inexperience. I wanted to disappear and drew my knees up to my chest. The thought of stopping, of not having him, made me wilt.
"Hey." He reached out, taking hold of my shoulder. "What's wrong?"
I took a pleading breath. "I've been waiting my whole life."
After thinking for a long moment, he spoke. "You can be so sweet," Jake grinned. "Are you sure?"
I nodded.
"To be honest, Angel, the second I said 'wait', I wished to take it back."
"You did? You want to?"
He placed the backs of his fingers against my cheek. "Are you serious? I can't be the first guy to try. I mean, you're so damn beautiful. I wanna . . ." He moved his hands erratically in the air between us. "Do things to you. You make me feel like a caveman."
My mind filled with a cartoony image of Cro-Magnon-Jake. It stretched my face into a grin. "You wanna club me and drag me away by my hair?"
He gave a slight smile, running his fingers down my side, to my hip. His eyes held no humor when he said, "There'll be no clubbing, Baby Seal." He put a hand across my throat. I watched, mesmerized as he ran his tongue across his bottom lip. "I might go for some hair pulling, though."
My whole body seemed to go up in smoke, singed by those erotic words. My heart fluttered, feeling his fingers around the sides of my neck, his thumb grazing my throat. The touch relaxed every muscle in my body. "That's the sexiest thing I've ever heard."
Jake moved closer, resting his other hand by my hip. "No, being the one you choose as your first is sexy."
