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I rubbed at the lumps of stress forming at the back of my neck. "Why do I hate her so much?"
"Because she can do something you can't and that makes you feel inadequate." Avery put her arm around me when tears formed in my eyes. "I didn't say she's better than you or that you should feel threatened, because you shouldn't." She pointed between a few heads. "Look at them."
The throng was surrounding Jake, Max and Andrew. Band Chick-Angelica-was standing behind them with her eyes on Andrew. She was watching him sign a girl's arm. She didn't look unhappy about it, but as I continued to watch her, I noticed her gaze never left him. She only looked at anyone else when they spoke to her. Jake didn't speak to her at all.
Avery explained, "No one is trying to take your man, aside from the obligatory groupies." She amended. "But you're the only groupie he's interested in." She pointed again and I looked back.
Jake was standing in the midst of a herd, all clamoring for his attention. There were at least four people talking to him and more waiting for their turn. And in the middle of that chaos he was looking beyond them, at me. He mouthed a word, I think it was soon. And then he shifted to pose for a picture, shifting his eyes away from me to the camera in front of him.
Maybe Avery was right. Maybe I should make Jake wait, too. He'd shut me out, wanted me to suffer for answers that he could have easily given and alleviated my stress. It seemed like I had nothing to worry about from Angelica. She was glued to Andrew. Jake was the one acting strange, worried for some unspoken reason, he was the one pulling away from me. Since I joined him on the tour, I'd been waiting in the wings, begging for any morsel of affection.
Once my mind was set, I thought up a lot of reasons why we needed to leave the club. We had to get back to the motel room because there would undoubtedly be some kind of celebration for the newest band member.
Avery reasoned, "We have to welcome her with open arms. You know what they say about keeping enemies closer."
So, we should be ready with party essentials. Plus, I had to shower. I smelled like the mosh pit.
On the way back, we stopped at a local dollar store and begged the checker to let us in even though they were closing in exactly one minute. We grabbed junk food, and more chips and sodas and some mint gum.
The motel room was a huge mess.
"How did we do all this in just a few hours?" Avery was staring at the cluttered bathroom counter.
"We live and breathe." Immediately, I was grabbing the towels from the floor to hang them up.
"I'll make the beds." Avery twirled from the doorway. A second later, music was playing.
Once the bathroom was picked up and our clothes were put away, I headed over to help Avery, who was barely finishing the first bed.
After everything was nice and tidy, we sat down to watch the end of Sleep Away Camp on the free HBO and munch. Surely, the nights' celebration would call for beer so I needed something in my stomach. Also, if Jake planned to go a round with me over whatever set him off, I'd need two beers in me. Even if I offered up an immediate apology, he would want to talk through it.
After the first bag of chips, I was tempted to start on the second, but opted to share a small tray of cookies with Avery instead. After the movie was over, we decided to see what else was on and ended up watching a cooking show. The chef was starting swordfish.
Avery hopped up and drew back the curtains after her third check of the parking lot yielded nothing. We settled back in, remembering that everything takes time.
Anemic Psychos were just taking the stage when we left. There were a lot of people at the club and Jake wouldn't want to leave until he'd talked to and signed stuff for everybody. Then, there was always the chance of getting drawn into something with some of the other guys from the other bands on the tour.
By the time the swordfish was served, I was stuffed with junk food. I popped a piece of gum and watched Avery channel surf, wishing I wouldn't have followed her out so easily. I should have stayed behind with Jake. It didn't matter where I was or how assertive I intended to be. I was still the one waiting.
Time seemed to drag. The window was cracked open and there wasn't a sound from outside.
"I'm going to sleep." Avery announced and my heart sank. "Don't wake me up when they get here." She plopped down on the other bed and rolled to face the closet, adding, "I'm pissed."
When I looked out the window, the moon was high. There was also a white passenger van parking a few doors down. People piled out, but I didn't see Jake.
Or Angelica.
I turned back to tell Avery.
"I don't give a shit." She covered her head with a pillow.
After a quick look in the mirror and a quick brush of my hair, I opened my door. There were several people out in the lot. Max saw me right away and started towards me. I met him halfway.
"Hey girl," he said, "Jake's not with us." He slumped down to speak in my ear. "He came back a while ago then left again."
My stomach dropped. "Why?"
"Uh, he's doing something-said he'd talk to you about it when he's done."
