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He nodded and the flash was back. His lips barely moved as he muttered, "Fucking furious."
"At me?"
His mouth became one angry line. He said nothing. It was his pointed stare that told me I'd guessed right.
"I didn't do anything."
Jakes scoffed, opening his mouth as if to speak. The moments passed as I waited, watching the calm he'd been holding disappear, leaving clear, unveiled fury. Still, he kept quiet.
"Jake?"
"Don't push me, Angel. Not now."
"But I don't-"
Jakes hands were suddenly gripping my arms. He jerked me so close, our noses were touching. "You make me look like a fucking idiot!" He whispered, but it was so harsh, people passing by stared. Jake dropped his hands and took a deep breath. Sounding much more controlled, he said, "We'll talk later. Everyone's running behind. We still have sound check, another interview. The show. I'm too busy for this."
I couldn't let it go. "You know I can't take it when you're upset. Tell me. Please. Why are you so mad at me?"
He shook his head. "You don't want me to answer that now. Trust me. I need to calm down."
"What does that mean?" I reached for him, but he stepped back, turned and walked off.
He left me standing there.
Turned away like he hadn't heard me.
Like he didn't care.
Like I didn't matter.
Avery was at my side talking, but I couldn't hear. The blood pounding in my ears was too loud. I felt myself curling up, wanting to dissolve and vaguely aware of Avery leading me to a small table and sitting me down.
I didn't know what to do. Jake had never been so upset with me and I had no idea why. And that girl-I knew wherever Jake was walking off to, she would be there. She could talk to him and I couldn't. She could stand beside him while I was shunned. The thought made me sick. He hadn't given me any answers, only more questions. Was 'not yet' inevitable? Had he changed his mind about me? About us? Was he leaving me behind already?
A bulging pulse beat up my neck and I knew I had to decompress or I was going to get a migraine. So, I replayed the conversation in my head and changed it, pushed the bad parts away, filled it with the sweet words and promises Jake had made the night before. Over and over. Jake loved me. He promised he would never leave me. I was the one he wanted. For life. So, whatever he was mad about was nothing.
It had to be nothing, because I didn't do anything.
If my reaction to the guitar playing goddess was the reason Jake was so angry, I could understand why he'd been nervous about my seeing her. I hadn't even spoken to her and already wanted her gone. It didn't matter how good she was or how much she could bring to the band. As a matter of fact, that was the reason she needed to be eighty-sixed. I didn't want Jake anywhere near her, because any girl that beautiful had to be a terrible person. She was probably a monumental bitch.
"Nothing happened." I told Avery when she returned with a bottle of water and asked, again, about my conversation with Jake. "It was nothing."
+ + +
38
-Avery
Angel asked me to leave her alone. Not an unusual request for most people, but from her it was alarming.
I asked her what was wrong and she said, "I'm fine."
A lie.
She must have told Jake she didn't want to marry him. And because he's a controlling, manipulative dick, he was probably mad. He looked mad when he left. I wondered what he'd said, because Angel looked devastated. But she wouldn't talk to me, so I walked away, too.
Not long after giving Angel the water bottle I snaked from one of the back rooms, Analog did their sound check. Angel stayed at that back table where I left her, staring at the floor. I thought she'd be all over sound check, considering that girl was right next to Jake. The two talked a few times. I kept my ears up and spied every exchange. There didn't seem to be anything between them. Every time the girl stepped in to talk to him, he stepped back. Jake looked to Angel several times-checking for her reaction, I guessed. His face kept shifting between irritation and concern-but they didn't communicate.
