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Angel was snoozing on the floor beside me, curled into a tiny ball with her mouth hanging open. A line of spittle led to a damp circle on her pillow.
The screen door slammed shut, signaling Deanna's arrival. I stumbled my way down the hall to the kitchen where Angel's foster mom was unloading groceries into the refrigerator. She smiled when she saw me peeking in from the hall. I waved.
"Good morning, Sunshine. How are you this fine day?" She was nauseatingly cheerful. It was almost unfair for me to be the one witnessing the good mood. Angel loved that stuff. She ate it up.
"Good."
"Was Austen bothering you last night?"
"No," I shook my head. "He went out after all."
Deanna extended a hand bearing a prepackaged blueberry muffin. "You want coffee? You must have been up all night."
"Why do you say that?"
"Bags." Her two fingers traced the valley below her own eyes, in gesture.
"Actually, I wanted to talk. Well, to ask you something." I set the muffin on the counter.
I'd try nice first.
Deanna leaned back against the stove, arms crossed. "I'm all ears."
I was already sensing an impasse. "You know Jake's band? Well, they're playing tomorrow night in Tempe and-" Deanna was already shaking her head. "But you know how much-"
"No."
"Please! It would mean everything." I had to choose my words carefully when talking with Deanna. She was always a little too observant. A little too sharp and a lot too stubborn.
"Not a wise idea. That relationship has gotten too serious and Tempe is too far."
I lowered my voice and stepped in very close. "It's not too far. And I wasn't really asking for permission."
Deanna slapped her hands on her hips, wasting no time getting all turkey-necked. "I won't have this-this attitude. What has gotten into you?"
I stepped back, composing myself. I couldn't be that way with Angels' Foster. It wouldn't end well for anyone. I thought of what Angel would say and used that as my argument. "It's just music. It's one weekend."
"There's a lot more to it than that and you know it. Money. Transportation. Supervision. Curfews. That Doctor Williams wants me to meet with me. No. There's too much going on." She reached for her purse spread across the far counter and was suddenly holding a cigarette. I looked at her, semi-surprised-I thought she'd quit.
"I started again." Deanna announced, holding the cigarette with her teeth, answering my unspoken question as she lit up and took a long drag. Her muscles relaxed as she exhaled. The smoke streamed from her nostrils like two steam pipes. "We've talked about you running off like that, and nothing has changed since the last conversation. Or has it?"
I wasn't going to let her drag me into whatever direction she thought the conversation needed to go. So I ignored her question, deciding to take a more direct approach.
"You know, the eighteen year mark isn't far away. And we have all decided to go to California. Together."
"So, 'we' includes the too-old boyfriend?" She raised her head, eyes darting to the ceiling and wiped at her mouth.
I nodded. "Him and his band that will be signing a two-record deal with a label the moment they land in LA." I breathed slowly, mechanically moving forward again. "You need to let us go."
Deanna's eyes suddenly cooled. She flicked the ashes of her cigarette onto the kitchen floor. "Are you stepping to me, little girl?"
I flung my palms out, slapping them against her shoulders. Deanna stumbled back, shocked, but didn't fall.
"No." I answered, my voice firm as I glared, willing the hollowed out core I kept so carefully concealed to show, just for a moment. Deanna needed to see what I could do so she would know why she shouldn't shove back. Her eyes widened for a moment, but she didn't move.
"You've never been put out by this foster care situation." I began to explain; wondering if the path of least resistance was the lesser of two evils. I had to consider my next step. If she gave me another reason to push I would, without a doubt, but I had to think of Angel; what she'd want.
"You've always been comfortable, because you've never been asked to do anything. And just so you understand, I'm not asking. I'm telling you: we are going to California. We are not coming back. All you need to do is continue to be comfortable. To do nothing."
