AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"O-kay," the word comes out slowly.
"You've been vigilant throughout this evaluation, stating several times that the events of that night were your perception at the time, and not necessarily factual. I am curious to know, Miss Patel, what are the facts as you see them? Anything you contribute to help us understand your state of mind would be of great help."
"I don't remember much beyond what I told you. I can't even remember your name and you just told me five seconds ago."
He tilts his head. "Doctor Schumacher, like shoe maker-one who makes shoes."
I sigh and shake my head. He's using that rhyming trick to help me remember. He has been listening.
"I thought I saw Deanna there, in the room with me that night," I confess, "But I was only trying to comfort myself. I know, now, that she wasn't."
"What did you learn that made you change your mind?"
"The dreams I have-those repressed memories. The videos, too, of me behaving . . . like that other person." I shrug. "I've been wrong about so much stuff, it just seemed reasonable that maybe I was wrong about talking to Deanna that night, too."
"Would you say you weighed the facts you were presented with?"
Thinking for a minute, I nod. "Yeah, that's what I did."
"The facts are: Deanna Midler used the information Mister Haddon provided on your whereabouts to lead the police to you. She was present, but never entered the motel room as you previously thought. Do you agree?"
"Yes."
He smiles, not much but just enough to soften his face. "I believe that information, facts, are the most important part of the decision making process. Would you agree?"
"I guess. But you have to follow your heart, too."
He leans down, scribbling in the file in front of him. "I also want to ask about your references to the second victim, Mister Jacob Haddon."
All the muscles in my body constrict at the sound of his name. This doctor's going to fucking argue with me. I know it. He's just like the rest. He's going to tell me I'm lying.
"Throughout this process, you have repeatedly referred to Mister Haddon's state of welfare after the confrontation as being deceased and 'magically' opening his eyes to ask for help."
". . . Yeah." A lump rises in my throat as I look around the room at the other three faces studying me. I'm the only one ruffled by the turn of conversation. Was this their plan all along?
"You believe that to be fact?"
"It was my imagination. I said that." The lump rises in my throat, sharpening like the pointed beak of a crow pecking at my esophagus.
"Are you aware, Miss Patel, that Jacob Haddon was, in fact, alive at that time?"
"I've heard that before."
In the time it takes to say those four words, the pecking crow in my throat has multiplied to a flock. Whirling inside me, the birds are a violent chorus of long beaks and giant beating wings, fighting, trying to climb up and out of my mouth.
"Are you also aware of the fact that he is still living, to this day?"
This is where I stop listening.
"That's a lie." Three pecks slicing through my tongue.
"I assure you, it is a fact. Jacob Haddon is alive, Miss Patel. The fact is that you did not kill him, no matter what your heart tells you. If you had, you wouldn't be here. We would never consider transferring a murderer to moderate security." Doctor Schumacher has a pen in his shirt pocket. I wish my hands were free so I could jamb it in my ear.
"No." Another beak pecking.
"According to your records, the numerous psychiatrists and physicians who've examined you these last six and one-half years all state the same: you have deluded yourself with guilt. You think that Mister Haddon was murdered by your alternate personality, Avery." His dark eyes flicker behind the coke-bottle lenses. "The facts are: Mister Haddon did sustain life threatening injuries that night. He endured forty-seven stab wounds in total, from which he has since recovered. He suffered long term nerve damage, but he is alive."
My head shakes continuously. Fiercely. Like my neck is made of rubber. "No. Jake's dead."
