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EPILOGUE III (Roman and Salvatrice)
Salvatrice
Summer, 2001
He took me to Paradise.
The first day of December came with a thick layer of snow in New York City and Roman grabbed that excuse with both hands, whisking me away to French Polynesia. Bora Bora was the last place on earth I'd expected to ever see with my own eyes, but my husband, as it was proven to me time and again, had expensive taste and he wanted this honeymoon to feel like two weeks all-inclusive in Heaven. It was damn near close to that, I had to admit.
Romina was staying with her uncles and aunts, and I felt dreadful for the first three days of our trip because we left our daughter behind, but she didn’t seem to mind. Maybe because Roman promised her an entire summer at the beach next year and all the toys she can grab from the store as soon as we’re back in the states. After he took her to Disney World and made her feel above all the princesses there, I wasn’t surprised she took his word seriously. My husband always kept his promises. We did talk to Remy every day on the phone – I insisted on doing so – and things were good at home. All that was left to do was sit under the golden sun and enjoy my amazing husband which was a damn easy job.
Roman came out of the clear water and kissed me with salty lips.
“You’re cold, baby.” I laughed when his damp body made contact with mine.
“So? Heat me up, amore. We know it would only take you a couple touches.”
For most men, such a cheesy statement would be just sweet talking, but Roman was truthful. Our attraction was beyond the natural law, I knew it the first time I met him, and I knew it now too. Sometimes all he had to do was walk into a room and find me with his compelling, hazel-tainted eyes, and I’d feel like melting on the floor. The desire I could read on his face made my chest tighten every time and my pussy throb. It was this mix of love and animal need that was driving me crazy and all I wished was to see that ‘till the day I died, which now, according to my new doctors, will be very far in the future. The new set of lungs I was sporting were going strong, and at the last consult my respiratory function was up to eighty-nine percent. I would never regain full capacity ever again, but the numbers I got at the last consult were very good.
“Hey, amore, are you here with me? Are you thinking about Romina again? I told you not to worry, she’s more than fine.”
“No, I know she is. I was just thinking.”
“About? Let me in your beautiful mind, Salvatrice.”
“About you, about how much I love you.”
“Good. I want you to think that all the time.” He kissed me again and I savored a drop of ocean water from his lips. “Are you happy, baby?”
“Yes.” He asked me that question sometimes.
“Do you want to come and swim with me?”
“No.” I snapped and grabbed the sun dress that was covering my body.
“Salvatrice, God, we need to talk about this?”
“About what?” I played dumb.
“About the fact that you won’t let me look at you because of the damn scar. Do you think I care one fucking bit?” He said he didn’t, but I did. My chest was split open and a red, thick line will mark me forever. Roman could say whatever he wanted, but that wasn’t aesthetically pleasant for anyone.
“The water is cold, that’s all.”
“The water has nothing to do with it. You won’t let me touch you if the lights are on and every time I come to bed I find you buried under covers, hiding from my view. This can’t go on, Salvatrice. It’s unnatural to ask me not to admire the woman I love, God damn it.”
He was actually mad, I could tell by the way his fists tightened.
“Roman, I know you’re trying to be nice, but can we drop it?”
“I’m not trying to be anything. You are trying to keep me at an arm’s length and that’s a really fucked-up thing to do. I wanted us to enjoy this honeymoon, and you’re stressing out about a small defect of your body.” He took a deep breath, which was his way of calming down every time we were approaching a fight, “I’m going back into the water. Are you ok with having lunch after?”
“Sure, go.”
He turned his back on me and went back into the water, leaving me with a gorgeous view of his sculpted back.
I sighed. I knew this discussion was heading my way. Roman and I tiptoed about my behavior for a while now. I was cleared by the doctors to go back to my normal daily life about two months ago, but I’ve been hesitant to do so. I didn’t know why, because I was far from shallow; I knew that all the important things in life didn’t have anything to do with looks, but it was hard where Roman was concerned. He was this perfect God that turned the head of everyone around – there were women ogling him right now on this beach – and he always spoke about my beauty, so I had the right to be a little insecure.
The last thing I wanted was to make him mad, though. He was right when he said this was supposed to be our time, when we finally put everything behind us.
