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“Why are we here?”
“You’ll see, baby girl.”
The pavement was creaking under my shoes while I made my way to the old grave marked by a heavy cross carved out of rock. The angel faces that decorated it were now fading after years in the rain and wind, and patches of moss were showing on the stone.
“Cat, help me take my jacket off.”
She pushed it off my shoulders, and I took it off one arm at a time and covered the old bench next to the grave. Usually, I was the one to sit there, but now I helped Catherinelle get comfortable and made sure her feet didn’t touch the ground.
“Who is buried here, Hugo?”
“My parents,” I said simply. One on top of the other, Ana and Viktor Mustafa were laid to rest here by God knows who. I knew I had nothing to do with it.
That shocked Catherinelle. I could see it on her face. Maybe because I never talked about where I came from or the years before Umberto Nucci took me under his wing, or maybe just because it made no sense for me to be here.
“Your parents?” her voice echoed back at me.
“The…people that gave me life. I don’t remember their faces.”
Her eyes inspected the grave in detail before returning back to me, carrying a lot of questions.
“This is where I come every week, Cat. No need to follow me anymore.”
“A cemetery? Why?”
The million dollars question.
“Guilt. I haven’t thought about them in many years, Catherinelle. I didn’t even know where they were buried until three years ago when Roman found out about this place.” It was his fucked-up idea of a present.
“I don’t understand, Hugo. Why were you so defensive? I asked you about it, and you left me.” Her voice went up. “You left me alone the first night we slept together because you didn’t want me to know you were visiting your parents’ grave?”
No, I left her because I’m one big fucking coward. The moment I felt she was sneaking under my skin, I ran as fast as I could.
“No, Cat. You pushed on my boundaries, and I had a knee jerk reaction. You know I don’t do that shit.”
“Do what?”
“The talking. The snuggling. The closeness. Do you honestly think any other woman has had a grip on me like you do? When you wanted to know something that no one else knows, I felt sucker punched.” I turned to look at her for the first time since we got here, and her graceful face looked anger free at last. “Cat, the only things I know are violence and hatred. Whatever it is you’re offering is alien shit to me.”
She got up, and I wanted to yell at her because she was still shoeless, and it was fucking winter outside, but before I got the chance, she was next to me.
“You are more than that, Hugo. You know friendship and family, love and tradition.”
“Where did you get that idea?”
“You are Gino’s best friend. You, him and Roman are brothers.”
I couldn’t keep from touching her, so I traced a line on her cheek with my finger on the reminiscent path left by her tears.
“Innocent, beautiful Catherinelle. Baby girl, I work for them. My only purpose in life was to protect your brother at any cost and nothing more, and he knows it very well. I am just a human shield.”
“You’re talking crazy, and you know it. Gino values you; you’re his most trusted man. Damn it, Hugo, you were raised together.”
She still didn’t get it.
“We don’t share the same blood or the tradition he holds so dear to his heart. His principles? I don’t fucking have that, Cat. I’ll do whatever it takes for the family through whatever means necessary.”
“Stop talking.” She shook her head. “Is that what you think? What you always thought? That you’re just some kind of dispensable tool? This is fucking ridiculous. I don’t know how Gino let that get into your head, but it has nothing to do with me. With us.”
