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The sound of my name wrapped in Hugo’s rugged voice made me jump.
“Huh?”
“You spaced out.”
“Yeah, I…” was lost in thoughts about you and how my need was running deeper than my upbringing. “I was looking at the trees. They seem to be bigger than usual.”
“The gardener trims them in the spring. Go inside, I’ll bring your bags.”
“I’ll help you.”
The air sent a chill to my bones when I got out of the car, and I closed my quilted parka and raised the furry collar to protect myself from it. Before I got myself ready, Hugo had already grabbed most of the things that had to be carried inside, only the giftbox and a makeup case remaining for me. I closed the trunk of his car with my free hand and followed him into the entry hallway, where he dropped all the luggage.
“I’ll take the guest room down the hall,” he spoke.
“Ok.” I would have preferred him to share mine. “Since Gino isn’t here, I’ll just seep in the master.”
Hugo helped me carry everything upstairs and then disappeared the moment I started unpack. For a six-two shredded man who had a reputation for being a fearless assassin, he seemed pretty cowardly to me. The air crackled with energy every time we were next to each other, ever since the rendezvous we had the other night, but every time, he jolted away.
All I had to do was put my clothes away in the dresser and settle my makeup on the vanity mirror in the bathroom. Everything else was in perfect order, since Gino paid people here all year round to take care of the property. Like all the rooms in this house, the master bedroom was huge, and it had a generous bathroom with a hot tub that I planned to take advantage of. The room was luminous, the two large French doors that opened to a private terrace allowing the ashen light to fill the room. The entire place was decorated in light colors, white furniture, blue and butter yellow walls and wood elements. My bed had a light brown maple frame and impeccable white covers, with a wool navy-blue quilt placed on one corner. The pillows were fluffed, and there was a fresh bouquet of white peonies on the table, making the room comfier and more welcoming.
I changed into yoga pants, Ugg boots with fur, a simple tank top and covered myself with a knitted long sleeve cardigan to keep me warm, then went downstairs to find Hugo. There wasn’t a trace of him in sight, and the house was silent, so I walked around from room to room until I finally spotted him in the back yard, in the middle of the beach, contemplating the ocean.
The moment I stepped foot on the back patio, the frozen breeze of mid-December cut my skin, but I ignored it and stayed there watching him. The wind was merciless, but still, Hugo had just jeans and a black long sleeve shirt that contorted the massive muscles of his arms in a very delicious way, but it couldn’t offer much protection from the cold. He seemed lost in thought, and I wrapped myself tighter with the cardigan and watched him be still.
The beach was restless, the tall marram grass bending under the breeze that bit the shore. The winter air was riding the waves of the Atlantic, hitting the shore and cracking into a million tiny, tiny blades. I felt my skin cracking with every gush of wind, and my body was engulfed by shivers. I couldn’t move.
As kids, we left barefoot footprints in the same sand he was standing on right now. Him, Roman and Gino walking together and me following, trying to catch their attention and find someone to play with me. Funny how so much time passed, but we were back here, and I was still chasing him.
“Hugo!” I yelled over the sound of the waves when the cold became too much, and he turned to the sound of my voice. “You’ll catch a cold. Come inside.”
Surprisingly, he didn’t protest or tell me to get lost, just started to walk back, and I opened the door for us both to go back into the kitchen.
“You need something?” He was his usual closed up self, but I saw a newfound calm on his face.
“No, I just saw you out there. I don’t want you to catch pneumonia.”
“I’m fine; the cold doesn’t bother me.” Of course, it didn’t. It seemed like nothing could get to him, not the cold, not the dangers of his life, not me.
He did look unbothered. His face was halcyon, and his hands weren’t shaking like mine were. The V-neck of his shirt revealed the tattoo he had going from his shoulder down to his pec and covered his arm, a complicated tribal with different patterns. In the white light, he cast a shadow over me. Hugo Mustafa was a threatening creature, a man of violence, and still I wanted to wrap myself in his arms.
“Kiss me,” I said out of the blue, and he just stood there, looking at me like he didn’t know what I was talking about. “Hugo, kiss me.”
“You need to stop, Cat. You need to fucking stop.”
A hand went to his hair, and he turned away from me with a distressed expression, like he was battling something.
I launched forward, stopping his movement and jumping into his arms. As a reflex, he caught me, and my insides got warm from the simple gesture. In that moment, I felt protected, knowing the Monster would always catch me. He would never let me fall. His hands grabbed onto my thighs, holding me up while I rested my palms on his broad shoulders.
“Why are you fighting me?” I whispered, staring straight into his uncommonly penetrating grey eyes.
“Because it’s fucking wrong, Catherinelle.”
“I like you. I know you, and you would never hurt me. How is this wrong?”
“You’re horny; that’s all you are. I’m not like the gullible guys you play with at your school. I am a monster – I am the Monster – and you need to stay away. You need a man who can give you love and flowers and shit. It’s not me, Cat.”
He spoke the truth, but I didn’t care for it. If decadence was all he had to offer, I was ready to let Hugo Mustafa disgrace me on the altar of a mournful pleasure.
