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“Everything would have to be backdated, and that wouldn’t—” Carson stopped, her eyes flickering as she tried to come up with a complaint.
When she couldn’t, I slapped my thighs and rose from the chair. “Marriage with Audry is out of the question,” I said too calmly. I refused to bring her into this life. Liam was right,andLogan was right. Audry deserved better.
“I don’t know man, I think it’s a way you can get everything you want,” Logan said, flipping aisles. How convenient.
“No, you were right. I’m no good for her. None of us will get what we want out of life, we just have to settle for what we are destined for.”
“But it would work,” Carson said, moving closer to me. Audry had grown on her, the first woman I had seen Carson get close to since Angel. “If you care about her?—”
“Stop.” I shook my head.
“No, listen to me,” she said, her voice raising an octave. “This would fix everything. The crews are backwards like that. Marriage for a woman means a new identity. She wouldn’t be a Santora. Her father would have no choice, the crew would have no choice. She would be one of us.”
“Yeah, excommunicated like us. On the hook for our debt,” Logan jabbed, his pessimism palpable.
“But alive,” Carson said.
I rubbed a hand over my face. “I have a choice, Carson.” I sighed. “And my choice is to let her go and have a better life than I can offer her. She will be safer without me, Logan was right. The more I’m around, the more people connect the dots.”
Carson blew out hot air, her bangs floating for a moment. “But?—”
“I care about her too much for that to be a solution,” I admitted, hanging my head into my hands. I tugged on my hair, the pain from my scalp clearing my mind. I love her, and she’ll never know.
Chapter 43
Audry
Ismoothed out my dress, the sequins scratching my fingertips. My reflection stared back at me accusatory. The person I dressed up as wasn’t me—not anymore.
The bruises had healed—at least the physical ones—but, instead of disappearing, they seeped into my body and changed me. I wasdifferentnow. The red dress hung right above my knees, and my flesh tone stockings were without any creases or lines. My jewelry was minimal, earrings and a small silver necklace. The neckline was a bit higher than normal but accentuated the curvature of my chest and hips.
The cut Kai left on my neck had healed, only a small nick was present. Someone had to be looking for it or close enough to see it. I licked my lips as the thought of him crossed my mind. I wanted him here…I shook the idea away.He made his choice.Anger rolled through my veins as I remembered him walking into that elevator like a coward.
“Hey, sis.” My brother walked into the room. His tie was undone, his hair still a mess, but at least he had the pants that actually matched his jacket on.
“Don’t you look…prepared,” I said, smiling.
My younger brother was at least a foot taller than me, as broad shouldered as our dad, and luckily more down to earth than both our parents. He took after our grandfather, almost a spitting image of him, with his dusty brown hair and reddish-brown scruff lining his chin.
“I still don’t know how to tie this,” he said, lifting the fabric. “And if Dad caught me wearing a clip on?—”
“You would be immediately disowned?” I joked, cocking my head.
“Oh, you know it.” He smiled.
I stepped closer to my brother, tying his tie around his neck like I had done so many times before.
“So…" he started with a low whistle. I didn’t meet his eye, knowing what he was about to ask. “Is yourfriendMom keeps ranting about coming or…?”
“No.” I shook my head, pulling the fabric down to create the perfect knot.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sincerely.
I glanced up at my little brother, the innocence in his eyes bringing me comfort. He was only a few years younger but might as well have been more. The way our parents coddled him. They wouldn’t disown him, but they also didn’t expect much from him like they did me.
The first born. The emotional support daughter. The heir to the family business.
I inhaled, the nerves growing. “No.” I shook my head. “I am not, but I’m learning to be okay with that.”
