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My stomach feels sick at the thought. The last thing I want is to ruinhislife, and I realize now, the way I threw myself at him, could’ve done exactly that.
As is slide into the driver’s seat, hot tears slip from my eyes.
I was so selfish.
And I hate myself for it. I never do things like that. It was completely out of bounds for me.
My phone vibrates against my laptop in my bag, and I almost ignore it, but dig it out anyway.
Fran.
I hit the answer button. “Hey,” I choke out.
“Whoa... Are you okay? You sound like you’re upset.” Her voice is full of concern, and while I hate catching her off guard, the silver lining is that at least she wasn’t calling me because what happened got around already.
“Um, yeah.” I clear my throat and bat the rogue tears away. “Just a long day. You know how it can be.”
“Well, it’s only four, but yeah.” Her voice lightens up. “Wanna vent about your day?”
I hesitate, tempted to pour everything out to her but choose not to.
I know that Fran is trustworthy, but I don’t know how to explain my feelings right now. “Maybe a different time. I need to go pick up Dorian, and the last thing I want is for him to listen to me complain.”
“Uh... Okay.”
I’m pretty sure she can see through my excuse. “Anyway, what’s up?” I force myself to sound happier than I am as I head out of the school parking lot.
Leaving the campus brings me little to no relief. Especially unknowing of the mess that Dr. Banks might be in.
All over me.
“I was wondering if you and Dorian want to go dress shopping tonight. I need some new clothes for our girls’ night next week and I thought I might treat you to a dress too.”
“Um...”
“Come on, Mel. I want to do this for you. Besides, I said you can bring your brother. You won’t have to leave him alone. I’ll buy you all dinner, too.”
“I don’t know about tonight...” The idea of having to put on a smile right now feels taxing.
“I’m literally beggingandbribing you. Whatever happened today isn’t worth missing a nice night out with your best friend. I’m sure Dorian will enjoy getting to eat out, too.”
She’s not wrong. Dorian does love the chance to eat out, which hardly if ever happens, given our financial situation.
“Fine. I’ll go with you tonight, but I don’t want to talk about my day. I think I might have really messed up my job.”
And maybe even Dr. Banks’s as well.
“Oof, okay. Well, if it’s any consolation, I think Dr. Banks can still be an asshole, no matter how nice he’s been to you with this job. Let’s not forget what led you down this road. I mean, he was failing you over the massive amounts of homework that he gives his students. So, fuck him.”
I laugh, loving the way she always jumps to try and make me feel better. “You might be right about the workload, but he’s made my job super easy. All I do is grade papers, and it’s kind of a breeze.”
“Lucky you. Bert’s working us all like slaves right now,” Fran mutters. “He thinks we all need motivation. You’re lucky you missed his most recent speech.”
“Yikes.” I giggle, turning into the middle school parking lot. “I have to say that I’m not jealous of that at all.”
“Good. You shouldn’t be. I’ll pick you and your brother up in an hour.”
16
