AllFreeNovel
Share Us
seventeen
Olympia
It’s been a hell of a week. By hell, I mean it’s been insanely busy—and insanely—um, arousing.
Who knew playing at being my biggest enemies’ fake girlfriend would leave me so hot and bothered at the end of the day? But with the way he touches me when we’re out, stealing kisses, inhaling the scent of me as he whispers dirty things in my ear that make me blush, well, hot and bothered is definitely the definition of me.
And then there are the times when we’re alone.
If I didn’t know better, I’d think Tav is trying to turn me on. Trying to push me.
I just don’t know why he would. I already told him I won’t sleep with him. That I don’t trust him enough to give that part of myself to him. So, what is he pushing for?
Argh, I can’t think straight. My mind is too muddled by fantasies of him touching me. My thoughts are too torn. I know I should be keeping my feelings separate from this game we’re playing, but it’s hard. This game is new. But I’ve always had feelings for this man.
God, I think the man is trying to kill me. Really, truly, kill me. I’ve never been this horny in all my life. I think about him touching me every second that I'm alone. Even my morning yoga isn't calming me down. I mean, it's yoga. Shouldn't it calm me down?
My body feels like it's constantly hovering at the edge of something.
I've tried to work out the ache, and I’ve failed. Masturbation has never been my thing.
One, Remira had a habit of walking into my room unannounced. The thought of her catching me doing that—it just wasn't worth it. She beat me after a boy stole a kiss. I can only imagine what she would have done if she'd caught me with my hand between my legs.
But I'm not at home anymore. There's no chance of Remira walking in on me here.
So, two nights ago while it was particularly bad, and my fingers hadn't done the trick—probably mostly because I don't know what I'm doing down there—I ordered a toy. I've never played with a toy, but it comes with satisfaction guaranteed. I'm guessing an orgasm is what they mean by satisfaction, and since that's what I want—no, that’s what I need—I dipped into my savings for it.
It should be here tomorrow.
I can't wait.
If I have to go another day feeling like this, I think I might explode. Or I might do something stupid. Like proposition my asshole fake boyfriend, if that's what he is.
I don't even know what he is. But I do know propositioning him to have sex with me would be a mistake. Considering I've propositioned him once already in a not-so-classy way, and he rejected me, I don't foresee him taking me up on a second proposition.
Even though I’m beginning to suspect he wants me aroused, and frustrated, and not thinking clearly.
Maybe he thinks if I'm not thinking clearly, I'll mess up. But I won't mess up. I have way too much riding on this. Way too much at stake. My whole life is riding on winning this bet, because without him, I'll end up back at home. If I end up back at home, I'll end up with Darius.
I would rather die.
I would rather take my own life under my own terms, because I know if I become Darius’ wife, he'll kill me. It might not be quick or soon, but it will happen. Eventually.
The thought sobers me, stealing the warmth from between my legs.
It's a terrifying reprieve.
I never should have made this bet to begin with, but without this bet, there would be no hope of a truce. I'm not sure I could have lived under the same roof as Tav for the next fourteen months, as he voiced how much he hates me every day.
Since the start of this truce game a week ago, he hasn't once told me that he hates me. He hasn't once told me how much he wants me gone.
We haven't talked much at all. Actually, it's all been physical. Slow touches. Rough hands on soft skin. His lips on my throat, my bare shoulder, my mouth. His taunting smile against my skin. And all in public, with eyes studying our every move.
I never expected I would accompany Tav to so many things, or that he would be so busy.
I thought rockstars would lead a leisurely life, but he doesn't. He has photoshoots, and contracts. He meets up with the guys to record and to write. He has event obligations, and party appearances to make. The man does not lead a leisurely existence.
He's everywhere all the time. Because we're playing this game, and the world thinks I'm his, I'm there beside him for all of it. No, he doesn't really need me there. Not for the photoshoots, or the recording sessions, but he brings me along, anyway.
