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“Yeah, I know.” The tires resist when I step on the gas, tossing up sheets of white. I make three more attempts, then smack the wheel when we don’t budge. “Damn it.”
“Hell, I’ll shovel under the—”
“No time. We’re walking.”
Theo falters. There’s a fleeting pause, but it’s not hesitation I see when our eyes connect, my hazel locked on his dark blue. It’s a common thread. It’s a bond we’ve shared since I was six years old, when we stood at the edge of my driveway and made a promise to protect a little girl.
“Let’s go,” he says, swiftly moving from the vehicle and throwing up the hood of his oyster-toned coat. “Save Peach, then celebrate by kicking your ass at Mario Kart for old times’ sake.”
Shoving the car keys into my pocket, I shuffle up beside him and adjust my hat over my ears. Theo’s nose, slightly turned-up and dotted with a light spattering of freckles, is already turning pink in the upper-twenties temperature, while little plumes of smoky breath dance through the air as he walks. We trudge down the secluded street toward the more populated neighborhood where Celeste lives, nearly shoulder to shoulder.
“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Theo muses, sifting through his pockets for the cigarettes he quit smoking two months ago. As if suddenly remembering, he tenses up, his jaw clenching. “I think it’s time I finally figure my shit out. Take those first steps. Get out of my parents’ house.”
My own breath transforms into icy tendrils as it hits the air. “I’ll help with whatever you need.”
“I know you will.” We share a quick glance before he ducks his head. “Shit, I’ve been a mess since Monica went off to college. Wallowing, you know? I really thought she wanted to stay local and make it work, so I put my own dreams on hold. Then I was too devastated to care about my dreams…but it’s time, man.” Theo lifts his chin, exhaling deeply into the winter draft that rolls through, glancing up at the clouds. “I want to be a cop.”
I’m instantly transported back in time, camped out beneath the wooden tree house in our backyard with Theo and June. She was transfixed by a whimsical ladybug dancing across her brother’s finger as I blew raspberries onto her chubby belly, and it was the very first day I called her Junebug.
It was also the day Theo announced his dream.
“I want to be a saver.”
Emotion rockets through me. A full-circle feeling. “That’s incredible, Theo,” I say, turning to look at him through the angry fall of snow. “I mean it. That’s really incredible.”
“Gotta maintain my Mario credibility, eh?” A smirk curls along his lightly stubbled jaw. “My trusty sidekick can hold down the fort here with June. For a little while, anyway.”
I nod tersely, and we quicken our gait.
The truth is I don’t have much going for myself either. I graduated from high school this past spring with a dead-end job at a convenience store and an on-again, off-again girlfriend I only like half of the time. Maybe I should start thinking about college.
Culinary school.
Hell, even a line-cook position at a local diner would be a start.
Something has been holding me back, though…
Fear.
Fear that something will happen to June if I’m away at college or working long hours. Fear that she’ll start dating the wrong guy in a few years and I won’t be around to keep an eye on her. Fear that she’ll get into an accident, or meet some predator on the internet, or start doing drugs.
Fear that I won’t be able to protect her.
It’s a senseless fear that has me spinning my wheels and chasing my tail…but, damn it, it’s real. It’s pervasive. It’s all-consuming.
Wendy keeps telling me to move out, to move in with her, but I’m not ready for that yet, and she doesn’t understand why.
And I don’t have an answer that holds any weight.
It’s hard to explain something that feels intangible.
As we’re about to cross the busy road into the suburban subdivision on the opposite side, a familiar car slows down at the mouth of our street, and we hop backward to avoid getting showered with wintery sludge.
It’s Andrew Bailey.
He inches his window down, his head and elbow poking out. “Your mother called me, so I left work right away. I already checked Celeste’s house and she’s not there.”
“Shit.” I kick at the snow, my anxiety spiking. “Where could she have gone? I know she’s been moodier lately, but it’s not like her to run away…”
