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She takes in a breath, then signs the form. Her digital signature looks like a five-year-old did it, but no can ever sign a tablet with their finger and make it look half decent.
“I’ll take it.” Jumping up, I return it to the counter. It’s good to move. I’m feeling twitchy, like I’ve got ants crawling all over my body. What I need is an intense hockey practice. Thank fuck I have one in like an hour. I’m gonna skate like demons are chasing me.
Slumping back into my seat, I check my watch and wince. I should be in a tutoring session right now. I canceled this morning, and he said that was cool, but we’d need to make up the time because the assignments I have piling up are gonna kick my ass if I don’t stay on top of them. He’s dead set on me passing with flying colors, but if you ask me, “Cs get degrees,” and I am totally fine with that.
I’ve arranged to go see him after practice, which is going to make my night a bit of a suck-fest, but it’s better to study with someone than alone, so I just have to lump it. Pros are the number one goal, but they’re not a guarantee, and I can’t go fucking up my future by being lazy.
My eyes dart to Caroline’s stomach.
My future.
Shit. If she keeps this baby, I’m going to have to take that into consideration. It’s not like we’ll be moving in together, but I’ll still have to be around, right? There’s no point being there just for the pregnancy. Part of not bailing is showing up for birthday parties and special events too. It’s being there after school to throw a ball and play tag. All the things I desperately wanted but didn’t get.
Fuck. I can’t do this.
I don’t know how to be a dad.
For a second, I want to drop to my knees and beg her to abort this thing. It’ll hurt, for sure, but then we can move on with our lives and?—
“Caroline,” A nurse calls into the room. “This way.” She smiles at us, flicking her fingers to follow her.
Before we get to the office, Caroline is weighed, her height is checked, plus her blood pressure taken. She then has to pee in a plastic cup, because apparently fifteen positive pregnancy tests aren’t proof enough.
Finally, we’re walking into a pristine office with posters of skinless bodies on the walls. I immediately start naming the muscles on the closest diagram. It’s a force of habit now, and I blame my tutor for that torturous memorization week that nearly did my head in.
“Okay, Caroline Mason?” A doctor walks into the room, closing the door behind her.
We both glance up, and I take in the dark-skinned lady with glasses and a hot bod.
It’s impossible not to check out her swaying hips in that fitted pencil skirt as she walks around her desk, but then I feel bad because the mother of my child is right beside me.
Caroline glances at me, then darts her eyes away, crossing her arms over her belly and kind of shrinking in on herself.
My hand takes up an automatic post on her lower back and doesn’t seem to want to leave, even after we sit down next to each other opposite the doctor.
“So…” The doctor looks over her iPad, then glances back up with a gentle smile. “Are we excited about this pregnancy, or is it an unplanned thing?”
“Unplanned,” Caroline squeaks. “I’m only a sophomore.”
“Okay.” The woman nods, then starts working through a series of questions.
Her calm, soft demeanor seems to settle Caroline, and I can feel her relax as they talk. I sit there quietly listening in, then tune out for a minute as I gaze at the posters on the wall again, then come back in when I hear the word options.
“I don’t know.” Caroline shakes her head. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Okay.” The doctor nods. “Well, you have a little time. By my calculations, you’re about seven weeks along, so it’d be wise to make a decision within the next month, I’d say. The sooner the better, really.”
Caroline swallows.
“I know this is tricky. There are a lot of things to consider. Pros and cons to both. But the good thing is that you do have plenty of options in front of you. My job is to make sure you’re healthy and safe.” She stands, pointing to the curtained area behind us. “Do you mind if I do a quick examination?”
“Uh… no.” Caroline stands, and I stay put, shifting awkwardly in my seat as I listen to the curtain swish and murmured conversation.
Finally, the curtain pops back open and I glance over my shoulder, watching Caroline tuck her hair behind her ears and give the doctor a weak smile.
“Everything feels healthy and normal right now. It’s great that you’re not getting morning sickness. You mentioned mild nausea, which is completely normal. Some women get it far worse, so thank your lucky stars for that.”
Caroline’s laughter is as weak as her smile as she takes a seat beside me.
