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Nerves rattle through me as I move back on the bed, bringing her with me. She straddles my lap, her expression creasing with worry.
“Are you okay?” She runs her fingers through my hair. “You look about ready to pass out.” Her lips pull into a resigned smile as she shakes her head. “Hey, it’s okay. I know you’re just trying to make me feel better with talk of a future family and stuff. We don’t have to go there. I know you’re not a ‘plan ahead’ kinda guy. I know the idea of a serious relationship freaks you out. We can take it slow. No stress, okay? For now, I’m yours, and you’re mine. We can just leave it at that.”
She’s giving me an out.
Fuck, that free pass is dangling right in front of me, but…
I swallow, kinda hating that she’s summing me up this way, but I’ve never given her any reason to think otherwise.
I lick my lips and cling to my floundering courage.
“I love you.” The words come out deep and gravelly, like I didn’t really want to say them.
Shit, I suck at this!
Her lips part, her eyes bulging. This was the last thing she was expecting me to say.
Holding her face, I suck in a breath and say it again. “I love you.”
She’s still gaping at me, and now she’s doing a thick swallow of her own, and I’m starting to worry that she doesn’t want me saying this to her. That maybe she’s not ready.
She told you she loves you, dude.
Yeah, she shouted it at me in desperation. How much did she actually mean it?
My heart’s in my throat by the time she finally finds her voice. “Have you ever said that to anyone before?”
“Not like that,” I rasp. “You know, all romantic and shit.”
Laughter bubbles out of her. It’s a soft sound, but her shoulders are shaking as she dips her head.
“What? Why is me loving you funny all of a sudden?”
“It’s not.” She looks up, her eyes sparkling as she touches my face. “It’s wonderful.” She looks about ready to cry on me, and I nearly beg her not to, but then she starts to explain before I can. “When I lost the baby, I was worried for a minute that you might not want me anymore. There’s nothing tying us together. You don’t have any responsibilities. It’d be so easy for you to walk away right now.”
The tension in my chest pops, this release flooding through me. Holding her face, I thread my fingers behind her neck and rest my thumbs against her earlobes. “I’m not going anywhere. I want to be with you. No matter what, you’re mine. And I love you.”
She grins, biting her lip and looking so fucking happy that I want to punch the air with a whoop. “You like me saying that, don’t you?”
“I love it.” Her lips stretch even wider. “I love you.”
Fuck, that feels good to hear. I always thought those words came attached with a ball and chain, but right now I’m drinking them in like I’m guzzling a cold beer. I want to hear her say it again, but asking would be so fucking lame, so I go for playful instead.
“That works out well, because… you know…”
“You love me?”
“I do, baby. I really do.” Pulling her close, I kiss her again, slow and gentle, taking my sweet time to explore her mouth. Oh man, I’d love to peel back the layers keeping us apart and show her just how much she means to me, but the doctor said no. She needs time to heal, and I’ll respect that. Kissing will have to do. Talking, hanging out, just being together… it’s enough.
I pull away, swiping my thumb over her glistening lips and drinking her in. “Shit, I really love you.” My voice is filled with awe, and I know I’ve already said it a stupid number of times, but each time the words come out of my mouth, they seem to hold more meaning. The emotion expands inside me even more, and she can see it.
Her eyes start glittering all over again, and she smiles at me like she gets what I’m going through right now.
“I really love you too,” she whispers against my mouth, and the buzz in my chest vibrates to a glow that spreads throughout my entire body.
It’s happening. I’m turning into a romantic sap like Ethan and Liam.
I’m whipped.
