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Ordinarily, I would obsess about it and wonder what it all means. But Ben has somehow freed me from those bonds of insecurity and fear. He has somehow managed to give me a confidence I had never been able to give myself. For that, I’m grateful. I’ll always be thankful for having had this experience, for having known I could feel all the things Ben is making me feel.
I don’t know what the future holds. All I have is right now, and for the moment, that’s enough. And I plan on enjoying every single moment of it.
13
BEN
Taking the outlet pass from Gabe, I sprint down the left wing, a step ahead of the pack chasing me. My eyes on the bucket, I cut toward it then elevate, ready to throw down a thunderous dunk.
As I reach my arm back, gripping the ball tightly, movement flashes in the corner of my eye a moment before a body crashes into my legs, taking them out from under me. Suddenly, I find myself looking at the ground rather than soaring above it.
The hardwood floor rushes up to meet me, and I crash into it. My head bangs off the court, making my vision waiver. The coppery taste of blood fills my mouth, and I wince, having bitten my tongue hard enough on impact to cut it. Pain radiates from my shoulder to my hip where my body collided with the floor, and I lie in a crumpled heap for a moment, taking a couple of beats to gather myself.
As the world around me comes back into focus, I see Gabe getting in Eric’s face, the two men screaming and pointing wildly at one another while the rest of the squad tries to intervene and get between the two of them.
Angry voices fill the air along with the shrill beat of whistles that cut through the din as the coaches try to separate the players. With a groan, I get to my feet and try to shake off the pain shooting through me.
I look around, trying to figure out who blindsided me when Eric steps out of the crowd of players and coaches. When I see the smirk on his face as he looks at me, I know it’s him. I also know it wasn’t an accident.
It wasn't just a hard hustle play. He took a shot at me. He was trying to injure me. And when that realization comes crashing down on me, I see red. My veins fill with the dark fire of my rage, and I launch myself at him.
Before I can connect with him, Coach Holman steps between us, his face twisted with anger. He’s shaking with that anger and looks at me like he wants to punch me every bit as badly as I want to lay into Eric right now.
“Both of you,” he says, addressing both of us. “Get the fuck out of my gym. Right now. Go home. You’re done.”
I grit my teeth. “Coach, that’s not?—”
“I told you to get the fuck out. Both of you. Go now or I’m going to have security escort you out,” he seethes.
More pissed off than I’ve been in a long time, I turn and stalk off the court. This arrangement is not going to work out. It’s obvious Eric and I can't co-exist. I can't play with somebody I not only don't respect but somebody I actively despise. And I won't respect a coaching staff who can't see what a hindrance he is to the team dynamic and chemistry of the organization. He's fucking poison. Something needs to change.
* * *
“I’mglad you weren’t hurt, but you can’t be serious,” she says.
“What choice do I have?” I ask in reply. “Your brother was headhunting today. And it seems pretty clear he’s not going to stop. Us being together and you standing up to him the way you did… It’s only going to piss him off more. And one of these days, he’s going to throw a cheap shot that might permanently end my career. I can’t risk that. I won’t.”
She shakes her head as if to deny what I said. “Asking to be traded away isn’t going to solve anything. If anything, it will only embolden him to do it to the next guy. You’d be letting him win.”
“I wouldn’t be letting him win. I’d be keeping myself from losing. There’s a difference.”
“You would be losing,” she says. “You’d lose me.”
“Not necessarily. We’ll be able to call each other. Hop on a plane?—”
“That might work for a little while, but I think you know as well as I do that that kind of relationship isn’t sustainable. Not in the long term.”
She’s right. I know she is. It’s strange to hear her discuss the long term when we haven’t even formalized any kind of relationship between us. At the same time, It feels natural. More than that, it feels right.
My feelings for Bailey, as unexpected as they’ve been, have grown stronger by the day. She's unlocked doors in my heart and soul I never knew were there and has given me the courage and strength to walk through them with her.
It’s nothing specific she’s said or done. It’s just her. She’s everything I never knew I even wanted. Every day I learn something new about Bailey, which only makes me hungry to learn even more about her. She’s the piece of the puzzle inside me I didn’t know was missing. The piece of the puzzle that finally completes the whole picture. And I’m seeing now that without that piece, the picture will always remain incomplete and out of focus.
Thing is, the most important thing in my life has always been my legacy. It’s always been to be known as one of the best who’s ever laced them up. That’s been my only focus. And I know that’s something I can’t do here in LA, not with Eric Greene on the roster. I can’t afford to get caught up in all that nonsense. I can’t afford to let myself be distracted the way dealing with that drama is sure to distract me.
Maybe I was an idiot to believe I could have it all, my legacy and the girl, after all. There’s a reason people say you can’t have your cake and eat it too. It’s something that’s become all too real for me. Having gotten a taste of what I have with Bailey though, I’m not ready to wave the white flag. I’ve never given up without a fight before. I’ve fought hard to get where I am and for what I have. It’s not in me to just walk away.
“We can make it work, Bailey,” I say. “If we want it bad enough, we’ll figure it out.”
