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Damnit. I know we were running hot and the cliff of disaster was too close for comfort.
I raise a hand to knock, then stop myself. I shove my junk back in my tactical pants, zip up, and raise my hand again. Instead, I just reach for the knob. “I’m coming in.”
“Don’t.”
“Talk to me.”
The silence on the other side of the door is deafening. I turn the knob.
The sight inside makes my heart crease into a wad like wrinkled newspaper. Simona’s gripping the sink, staring at her reflection.
“Hey.” I reach for her. She shies away.
While I respect her totally, I’m not letting her have an emotional crash on her own. “Come here.” I wrap my arms around her. “No regrets. Okay?”
She shakes her head a little, sighs. “I’m a mess. I wanted that, what we did, but now I don’t have a clue what I’m feeling.”
Looking at our reflections in the mirror, I admit, “Neither do I.”
“We shouldn’t have—”
“No regrets. It was amazing. And you know what? I feel alive and damn grateful to be standing here feeling things in my head and heart that only a very alive person feels.”
She closes her eyes and drops her head. “I do feel alive. And I owe you for that.”
I tilt her chin up so I can see her eyes in the mirror. “Is that why you gave yourself to me? Because you felt a debt?”
“I don’t know. Maybe part of it.”
“That wasn’t what this was about for me.”
Her frown deepens and a little line forms between her brows. “No. I wanted you.”
“I hear a ‘but’ in there.”
She licks her lips as her eyes drift away. “I’ve never owed anyone for my life before.”
“You don’t owe me.”
Breathless, she says, “Yes, I do.”
“Buy me dinner.”
Her mouth drops open, then snaps closed. “That was random.”
“No, seriously, buy me dinner and you can call it even, if that feels better to you.” Of course, my motive is to get her to dinner as well. Any minute I can steal with her, I’ll take.
She groans, “Scotch. You’re ridiculous. I’m sorry. I just need to be alone right now. Okay? There’s just so much going on. I feel exhausted.”
Brushing her hair aside, I ask, “I understand. How can I help?”
“Food. Clothes. Keeping me safe.”
I hold her tight for a few seconds more with my brain sending me all kinds of mixed-up signals. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
She watches me in the mirror as I step back. “Scotch. Be careful out there.”
“I will.”
