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When the doctor finished his exam, he added a few notes to my chart, gave some praise about my progress, and promised to be back before the end of his shift to check on me.
Awesome.
“Doctor?” I said just before he was out the door.
“Hmm?” he asked. Already with phone in hand, he finished typing before looking up and giving me his full attention.
“Any idea how long I’ll be here? I have a job I’m worried about, and?—”
The young doctor came back to stand beside my bed. He was kind and smart and had a great sense of humor when I was in the mood for it.
“I know it can be maddening lying in bed all day, staring at the same four walls or the dummy box. I’ll let your nurse know she can start taking you out for short walks, maybe to the healing garden on the ground floor. That will break up the monotony a bit. Plus, the fresh air and sunshine can do wonders for your spirit.”
“Okay, that’s great. I guess?” I had no idea what a healing garden entailed and couldn’t fathom how I’d go out on a walk—short or long—in my current condition other than being pushed around in a wheelchair. “But if I’m going to lie around most of the day, couldn’t I do that at home? I could have a home health nurse come visit at my place.”
I knew statistics showed that patients healed quicker in their own environments. I wasn’t trying to tell the guy how to do his job, but I wasn’t above it if it meant I could get the hell out of this depressing place.
“I like the way you’re thinking, man!” he said in a tone much too bright for the conversation. “Can I shoot straight with you right now?” He sat on the edge of my bed, keeping a respectful distance but creating a more intimate conversation.
“Yeah, go for it. I’d appreciate it, actually.”
“You’ve got some work ahead of you. I know this place isn’t the Ritz. I know you probably have a sweet wife or girlfriend holding things down at home, coming unglued from the stress and worry. Right now, you need to put all your energy into staying positive and getting well. You have to put you at the top of the list for a change and do what needs to be done here.” He stabbed his index finger into my mattress. “So you can get back to being the kick-ass guy you were before this accident. But we have to take certain steps in a certain order. But you control the pace. No one else can put in the hard work for you.”
While I appreciated the pep talk, I certainly didn’t feel better. Plus, I didn’t miss the way he avoided answering my actual question. But instead of treating the guy like my shrink, I forced a smile and quietly thanked him.
“I know you’re busy,” I choked out. “I appreciate you coming back and saying all of that.”
“I guarantee we don’t want you in here any longer than you need to be. But I wouldn’t be doing my best as your doctor if I sent you home before you were ready. You have to trust that, okay?” He gave the mattress a rapid double pat and stood.
“Thanks, Doc,” I said and let the guy get back to work.
My mother cautiously approached the bed, and I felt like the biggest ass. I knew my mood was shit, but she actually looked nervous to approach me. I hadn’t raised my voice. Hell, I hadn’t even voiced any of that to her before I had to the doctor.
“Mom,” I sighed. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, Andrew,” she warbled. “No matter how old you are, it’s so hard for me to see my child in pain. I know you don’t understand that and probably won’t until you have children of your own.” She clutched the dainty cross on the gold chain around her neck like she always did when wishing for grandchildren. “God willing, someday,” she muttered to the ceiling. “If I could do something to make this better, I would.”
“Are you sure you’ve told me everything Maye said when she came to the house? I don’t understand why she hasn’t come by,” I blurted and heard how petulant and whiny I sounded. Fuck it. Not seeing her was probably the biggest reason for my foul mood, and I kept tap-dancing around it like it wasn’t true.
“Yes, of course I told you everything. I’m not senile yet, young man.” She pushed my thigh playfully, not that I could feel it. But before I could go down that path of pity again, she added, “I know I’m just a silly old woman, but why don’t you call her? Ask her to come see you?” My mother’s sweet face was drawn and tired as she waited for an answer.
An answer I didn’t have.
“You’re not silly,” I said in a lighter tone, hoping to move on from this topic now that my mom positioned herself to give me advice about my love life.
“Very clever, Andrew. Maybe you’re feeling better after all, hmmm? Well enough to tease your mother anyway?”
We were quiet as my mom fidgeted with the blankets covering my lower half. “Maybe it’s hard for her because of the arm?”
The comment seemed random because of the time that had passed between it and the last mention of Maye.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I told you her twin sister was with her, right? She had to drive since your friend’s arm is in that enormous cast.” My mother reflected for a moment with a genuine smile. “My goodness, what a lovely pair of young ladies. Their parents should be very proud.”
I wasn’t sure if the pain medication was finally starting to work or if this was one of my mom’s classic disjointed conversations. Normally, I was much more adept at keeping up with her topic hopping, though.
“I’m not following,” I admitted while blinking heavy eyelids.
