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CHAPTER ONE
MAYE
“No, really, Joel. I promise it’s nothing you’re doing,” I tried explaining again. Then quickly added, “Or not doing. There’s nothing to work on or improve upon. Seriously, I know it sounds so cliché, but it’s me.”
Breaking up with a person who just wasn’t ready to let go was never easy. But this sweet relationship had run its course, and I was ready to move on.
I needed to move on.
In a perfect world, this conversation would’ve ended ten minutes prior, but instead, here we were. My trying to convince the guy he didn’t have a laundry list of shortcomings, and his making every promise to do better. Try harder. But wasn’t that the underlying theme to this whole situation? You weren’t supposed to have to try when it was meant to be.
And this whole relationship was taking way more effort than I had to give.
“But your dad and I were supposed to go fishing,” he finally croaked as if it would change things. And if I wasn’t mistaken, tears were being shed now too.
“You can still do that. Nothing says we can’t still be friends,” I said, trying to placate the man.
“Be serious,” he scoffed. And yes, it was definitely through tears.
“I’m going to let you go before one of us says something hurtful,” I announced. I’d been on this end of these conversations enough times in my life to know we had just reached the tipping point. Next he’d lash out, say all the things he’d always wanted to say but was sparing my feelings by not. Or that would be his heroic reason for avoiding the venom up to that point.
“I wish you nothing but the best, Joel. Good night.” After disconnecting the call, I turned the ringer off too in case he called back. One too many attempts, and my sister who shared the same bedroom would snatch the phone and give the guy a real tongue-lashing.
It was her superpower, after all.
But when I looked across the room to the now empty bed, I realized she’d dipped on me at some point. Couldn’t exactly blame her. The conversation had made me sick too.
Well, now that that was out of the way, time to get down to homework. I was working on my final project for the last class before summer break and quickly running out of steam. This class hadn’t been interesting or challenging, but most of them weren’t. School felt like rowing a boat with one oar.
Circles.
There was potential excitement on the horizon, though. I had landed an internship for the summer months and started in less than a week. My dad was heartbroken that I hadn’t accepted the opportunity with the firm he worked for, but honestly, I wanted to do something on my own for a change.
Being from a large family had its perks, but there were some drawbacks too. One of the major ones being I never felt like an individual. I was always just one of the Farsey girls.
To make matters worse, I was a twin. Don’t get me wrong—I loved my sister with my entire being, but living life as half of a whole could really suck. There was a point in my early teens that I swore if one more person asked me, “Which one are you?” I would’ve become a felon.
Those years are hard for every girl. Learning about yourself and where you fit into the world complicates every situation and every decision. As a twin, it was automatically assumed you were interchangeable with your sibling, so the fight to be seen as an individual just made everything worse.
And again, I adored my sister and applauded all her life choices so far. But she and I were as different as oil and vinegar. And lately, her personality had been as acidic as that condiment, too. Something was definitely bothering her—and I was talking at a bone-deep level—but every time I asked her, she’d clam up. I figured she’d open up to me or one of our other sisters when she was ready.
Just as I was thinking those thoughts, Shepperd came back into our room with a huge sports jug filled with water. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I saw her eat.
“That was painful to listen to,” she said with a magnificent eye roll.
I had to agree. “You should’ve been on the actual call.” Plopping down on the edge of my bed, I cradled my face in my palms. Being mean to people had always been difficult for me. My twin, however, seemed to excel at it. The breakup was long overdue, but having to listen to a man grovel was on my top ten things to avoid at all costs.
“You’re better off without him,” she growled and burrowed into the nest of blankets on her bed. “He wasn’t good enough for you. No one will ever be.”
She mumbled that last part, and it made me smile. No matter what her mood toward everyone else, we always had our own special thing.
“Shep?” I called so she wouldn’t doze off. The girl could fall asleep faster than anyone I knew.
She made some sort of noise, so I tiptoed into a minefield of topics I knew she hated. “Have you eaten today? Actual food, I mean?”
“Maye, don’t.”
“I’m worried about you. You can’t make me stop, either.” I stuck my tongue out when she peeked a single eye from below the covers.
