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Surprise, surprise. Once again, I was so outside of normal with this guy.
Patting his thigh, I explained, “Seriously, that came out way bitchier than I planned.” I swung my legs to the side of the bed. I knew better than to just bolt upright after the day I’d had, so I took it step by step.
When I finally stood, I was thankful the world wasn’t spinning in a direction that didn’t agree with me. My overly attentive mate hovered at my side, though, apparently as concerned as I was.
“All good,” I said with a fake, much-too-bright smile. “You really don’t have to linger by my side. Seems like all systems are go again.”
Carmen gave me a sideways look I couldn’t interpret. I couldn’t suppress the heavy sigh that escaped and had to consciously instruct myself to hold my head up and shoulders back rather than wither beneath his scrutiny.
By the time we made it to the kitchen, I snapped. The air between us was so burdened with whatever he wasn’t saying, I actually felt short of breath.
“All right, Sandoval, out with it,” I demanded and leaned against the counter. With my arms folded across my chest, I realized I was sending the wrong body cues, so I dropped them heavily to my sides.
Now it was his turn to deploy an overly bright and phony smile. “Out with what, darling?”
“Don’t even try it, man. The energy coming off you is so tense, I think you have something to say and are holding back. For what reason, I can’t understand, but I know I’m not picking up on contentment at the moment, like you’re trying to sell me with this fake smile.”
“Listen, Storm. I just don’t want to argue with you. I’m so tired of it, honestly. I know we go from zero to twelve on a scale of ten with our disagreements, and I’m trying to avoid that.”
“But you’re not denying something’s on your mind?—”
“I have a shit ton of things on my mind. But given the day you’ve had—well, that we’ve had—I don’t think this is the time to dig into any of it. Can I get you something? Water? Tea?”
Changing the subject was probably in our best interest. He made good points about our explosive arguing, but problems didn’t get solved by ignoring them. I couldn’t help that I was a passionate person. I’d always been that way and figured it was part of what a lot of people liked about me. Maybe I was fooling myself?
And that last thought just pissed me off the more I thought about it. Since when did I let a man make me doubt myself? Bullshit.
“Dah?” he said, and I snapped my head in his direction. He totally caught me off guard by using that nickname. Until now, only my family had ever called me that.
“I asked if you want some tea or something.”
“Yes, I heard you.”
“Then why are you staring off into space and not answering me?”
A stupid grin spread over my whole face, and I knew my yo-yo demeanor was confusing him. So I explained, “You’ve never called me that before.”
“Should I not? I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. I know it’s a family nickname, but I like it too. Plus, I’m your damn husband. Isn’t that as close as family?”
“I don’t mind you saying it. And you know what? A cup of tea sounds lovely. Do you have chamomile?”
“I’ll check. I have a whole assortment Gray gave me one year for a gift. I barely ever drink the stuff, so I don’t really know what’s in here,” he explained while taking the lid off one of the canisters that sat on the countertop near the stove. I just assumed they were for decoration, but apparently each one held a little secret.
He busied himself with filling the kettle that I also assumed was part of the kitchen’s decor, but apparently people actually used these things. I didn’t think my mom ever had a teakettle just sitting on the stove.
While he boiled the water, I riffled through the tea options and found one I liked. “Are you having a cup? Which flavor?”
“Surprise me,” he answered with his back toward me.
I grabbed a green tea for him and stood to find two mugs. I still wasn’t familiar with where things were kept, so it took opening and closing three cabinets until I found what I was looking for. I grabbed two spoons as well and surveyed the room.
Carmen was a very tidy guy, and this kitchen had his personality all over it when I stopped and looked at it for a moment. The whole process made me grin again, and until he spoke, I didn’t realize he had been watching me.
“What are you grinning about?” he asked just as the kettle began to whistle.
“I like it here,” I blurted without filtering my thought. Hoping he didn’t read too much into my comment, I started to explain more, but he cut me off again.
“I like you here,” he said earnestly.
