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Most of the time, we hang out at the trailer instead of going to the parties. Paige refuses to go to the clubhouse so she’s home with us. We have dinner the three of us cook together and then watch a movie. Sometimes Ricochet is there with us and other times he’s not. Their relationship or whatever you wanna call it is so damn confusing and Paige isn’t talking to me about what’s going on. So, I don’t know what to say to her about it. I do know what’s holding her back though. There’s one thing that holds her back and has since she was eighteen years old. My big sister was told four years ago she’d never be able to have children. For a girl who’s always wanted to have a ton of kids, it broke something deep in her soul. Paige hasn’t been right since she was given that news and holds everyone at arms’ length now. Especially when it comes to a guy she can see herself truly falling for.
Since I’m home alone today with Kevlar working and Paige out for the day before she heads into work, I’m cleaning the trailer. The only room I won’t touch is Paige’s. She won’t give a shit if I go in there and clean, but I try to give her the space she craves and don’t overstep. After the accident that took away her ability to have children and killed our dad, Paige gave up her life for me. I was four months shy of turning eighteen when it happened and Paige was almost nineteen. She was ready to head to college on a full scholarship. Instead of getting out of Cedar Bay, she remained here and took care of me. The county allowed me to stay with her and they checked in with us on a regular basis. We had help from them to ensure we had food and that our bills were paid until we could both go back to work. Paige had a longer recovery period than I did. Ever since then, I’ve tried to be there for my sister in any way she needs me.
Up until I met Kasey, it’s been pretty much Paige and me against the world. We don’t let too many people into our circle and that’s how we like things. The two of us were content in our lives until Kasey came along and introduced us to the world of the Wild Kings. Now, there’s a ton of people ready to have our back and help us no matter what’s going on. It’s taken us some time to get used to it, but we’re slowly coming around. Paige still doesn’t go around the members or ol’ ladies much. Kasey is different though. She loves seeing her and the kids. As long as she’s not at the clubhouse that is.
Walking through the trailer, I pick up the dirty dishes I left at the end of the couch this morning. I always put off doing the dishes until the last thing when I clean because I think they’re the worst part of cleaning.. Paige loves washing dishes. I think there’s something wrong with her, but that’s just me. I’d rather do a mountain of laundry than the dishes. Paige has told me countless times there’s something wrong with me. I don’t agree with her at all. That’s one of those times where we’ve agreed to disagree in our lives. I find it funny as hell because we are the complete opposite in almost every way as I’ve already stated but tend to agree on certain things that we feel are important. It’s weird.
Standing in front of the sink, I let the music from my phone play through the speakers Paige got me a few years ago. Right now, The Good Ones by Gabby Barrett is playing and it completely reminds me of Kevlar. The man is truly one of the good guys and it’s what scares me the most about him. I’ve never had a good guy like him pay me attention because they see me as being beneath them because I’ve worked since I was old enough to have a job and live in a trailer. Kevlar doesn’t give a fuck about that. He knows right now I’m looking for a job and that’s what my days are spent doing. I’ve been all over filling out applications and shit to no avail. I guess not going to college is gonna make it harder to find a job than I was anticipating.
Clearing my head from the depressing thoughts, I get to work cleaning the dishes. Tonight I’ll be the only one here for dinner so I didn’t bother to pull something out. Paige and I don’t cook if we’re going to be the only one home. We either have leftovers or make something quick and easy for dinner. She’s been working a lot of the later shifts at Haley’s Place and so I find myself home alone at dinner time more often than not. It’s been a ton of sandwiches and salads for me. Unless Kevlar shows up for dinner or takes me out somewhere. That’s been happening a lot more frequently lately and I can’t say I mind because it means getting to spend time with him.
The dishes are done and the trailer is completely clean. I’ve got the windows open so the breeze can come in. I’ll turn the air conditioning on shortly before Paige gets home from work to cool the trailer off completely. I’d rather have the windows open and the breeze filling the trailer instead of everything being closed up tight. Paige likes having the air running and keeping everything closed up. See, just one more way we’re different. However, I love my big sister and will always do what I can for her.
Sitting down on the couch, I grab the remote and turn the TV on. I find a movie to watch and lean back into the cushions at my back before picking up my phone. Before I can open up my social media to find a new book to read, it rings. Looking at the screen, I don’t recognize the number I’m seeing. I don’t usually answer the phone when I don’t know the number. However, there’s a feeling deep in my gut telling me to answer it this time. So, I do.
“Hello?” I ask, answering the phone and putting it on speaker.
“Lyric, it’s so good to hear your voice,” a woman says, her voice making a chill race through my body.
The voice sounds so familiar but there’s no way in hell it can be who it sounds like. This woman’s voice sounds just like my mom. She’s been dead for fifteen years. Paige and I didn’t see her body or anything, but I’m sure my dad did. Since he’s passed away, it’s not like I can ask him about her death. What the fuck is going on?
“Who is this?” I ask, sitting up straight on the couch as I look around the trailer.
“Lyric, I’m upset. You’d think you’d recognize your own mother’s voice,” she says, anger filling me at the thought that she’s been alive all this time and our lives could’ve been so much different.
“I don’t have a mother. My mom died when I was six years old. So, again, who the fuck are you?” I bark out, standing from the couch and pacing the small living room.
“Lyric, I’m your mom. You don’t understand the situation. Why don’t we meet up and I’ll explain everything to you?” she asks, putting that sugary fake shit in her voice because she thinks she’s gonna get her way.
I’ve never heard my mom do that shit before. Plenty of other women have when they're around men, but this is a first for my mom. It only makes me wonder what the fuck is going on right now even more. The only thing I do know is that I’m not meeting up with her. Not when I don’t trust a single thing coming out of her mouth.
“No, I don’t think I will meet up with you. Why don’t you just tell me what’s going on so I can hang up and go back to not having a mom?” I return, my voice filled with hatred.
My heart rate spikes and my entire body starts shaking with the anger filling me. I can’t hardly get a breath in as my chest feels completely restricted. Even my vision is becoming blurry and I know I’m on the verge of having a panic attack. I haven’t had one in a really long time.
“Lyric, why are you being like this? I thought you’d be happy to hear from me after all these years. But, I need to meet with Paige and you. It seems you’ve been hanging out with some new friends. Some bikers from the Wild Kings MC. I have a new man and his club wants to meet the daughters I love with all my heart,” she says, immediately I know this is about the club and my mother is up to no fucking good.
“Again, I’m not going to meet with you and I can guarantee Paige’s response will be the same. Our mom died years ago and if you loved us the way you claim, you would’ve been there for us. Instead you disappear off the planet and come back fifteen years later as if nothing has changed. That’s not how this shit works. Thanks for the call. Don’t bother calling again,” I say, moving to hang the call up.
“Lyric, one way or another, you’re gonna meet up with me. We can do this the easy way and you get to walk out of here again. Or, we can do this the hard way. You don’t wanna know what that entails. But, I’ll fill you in anyway, you fucking brat. If you don’t meet me willingly, Paige and you will be taken from wherever you’re found. Once you’re here with the Stone Devils MC, you won’t be leaving again. They’ll use you until there’s nothing left and kill you,” my mom informs me with glee filling her voice.
“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. There’s no reason for either one of us to meet with some bikers because you say it’s what you want,” I tell her, fear filling me as I look around the trailer again.
“They just want some information on the Wild Kings. Cedar Bay was supposed to be their town and now they find out this other club has come in and taken over. They just want to know the best way to get rid of them,” my mother says as if it’s really that easy.
I might not know much, but I know this other club wants to know what weaknesses the Wild Kings have. I’m not about to give them any information at all. So, instead of answering, I just hang up on my mother. I don’t know what the fuck to do or think right now. After fifteen years my mother suddenly turns up from the dead and calls me. I don’t even know how the fuck she got my phone number. Though, if she’s with a man in a motorcycle club, then I’m sure they have a tech guy who can pull up my number and any other information about me she wants to have on me. And Paige. Oh God! What about my sister? How am I going to tell her about this?
Picking up my phone again, I call the one person in this world I know will have my back and know what to do. Kevlar will know what to do in this situation. I’m not sure if he’s still at work right now. I know they have church today. That’s a big meeting with all the members of the club and no one else can go inside the room they have their meetings in. On top of that, they don’t take in their phones or anything else. I don’t know much about the club or what goes on, but I do know that much about the meetings from Kasey.
Kevlar’s phone goes to voicemail. There’s no ringing or anything else. He must be in church or getting another phone call. I can’t call Paige right now. She’s at work by now and this is the last thing she needs to deal with when she’s not here. I’ll have to figure out a way to tell her when she’s home and we can process this information together. If Paige is on her own when she learns what just happened, she’ll lose her shit and I don’t know what she’ll do. I can only hope now that our mother doesn’t call her when she happens to be on break. Though, Paige is like me in that she doesn’t answer calls she doesn’t know the number for. It literally took me putting Ricochet’s number into her phone for her to answer his calls and messages.
I walk through the trailer from one end to the other. Every single window and door is now locked and I double check everything to make sure no one can get in. I mean, the locks and shit on the trailer are cheap and it won’t take much for anyone to bust through the door if they really want to. However, by making sure all the windows and doors are inaccessible, I’m at least giving myself a chance to hide or something if someone does attempt to break into the house. I’ll hide myself if it means not getting taken by a bunch of men who want fucking information on the Wild Kings. The fucking assholes should just go talk to them if it’s all above board and as innocent as my mother is trying to make it seem.
When I’m done with the windows and doors, I sit down on the couch and pull out my phone once again. Clicking on Kevlar’s name, I try to call him once again. This time it rings and he answers.
“Shawn, I need you,” I say before the tears start to fall and I can’t stop them.
I pull the phone away from my ear and let the sobs overtake me. Nothing else registers to me as fifteen years of pain and anger at the thought of my mom being taken from me in an accident at work. It all disappears and is replaced by rage with the thought of her truly believing she can come back after all this time like nothing has changed. Everything has fucking changed. Our mother hasn’t been dead and yet she still left us alone with our dad. A man she was supposed to love with everything in her. She told us when we were little girls how much she adored and loved us. Now she’s ripped my world apart with the knowledge that she was so fucking selfish and chose to leave the rest of us behind for her own reasons. Fuck her and anything she wants from Paige and me!
