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Where did she go? What is she doing? I can’t believe she’s cutting me out of her life like this. We’ve been best friends since the second grade—how can she just end it after all these years without even giving me a chance to explain? Aw, what a mess. I never meant to hurt Diane. I tried to fight my feelings for Brian, I really did. But the heart wants what the heart wants.
If I’d known it would come between us, I would’ve walked away from the start. Our friendship’s always meant more to me than any man. But now it’s too late. I’ve lost my best friend, and I only have myself to blame. The tears start again, blurring my vision as I stare at the house. Somewhere inside, Brian’s there. I’m sure of it. He’s the reason Diane and I stand where we do, the reason I’m sitting here alone and heartbroken. I want to march up to his door and demand answers. I want to yell at him and make him understand the damage he’s caused.
But what’s the point? It’s not his fault. The fault is entirely mine and I’m just trying to find someone else to blame. Nothing I say will change the situation or bring Diane back. The only thing left for me to do is accept the consequences of my actions and try to move on from here.
As much as it hurts, I have to let her go. Our relationship is over, shattered beyond repair. It’s time for me to pick up the pieces of my life and figure out where to go from here. Even if it means going on alone, without a friend by my side.
I decide to call Brian one last time. He doesn’t pick up. I pull out of the driveway in tears and head home.
The next day, I call Brian again. No answer. I send another text, asking to meet so we can talk. Still no response. Anger and frustration boil inside me as I pace my living room. How dare he ignore me after everything we’ve shared? I pour my heart out in another message, my fingers flying over the keyboard.
I don’t deserve this treatment, Brian. Diane and I were friends long before you came into my life romantically. Now you’re acting like you’re the only one suffering Diane’s wrath here. I’m not some toy you can play with and discard when you’re done. I deserve an explanation. I deserve closure. If you care about me at all, please meet me so we can talk face-to-face.
I stare at my phone, my heart pounding as I wait for a response. The minutes tick by, dragging into hours, but my phone remains dark and silent. He’s not going to answer. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks, knocking the breath from my lungs. Brian has made his choice, and it’s not me. He’d rather cut me out of his life than face me. The tears come again, hot and bitter. But this time, there’s anger mixed with the sorrow. Anger at Brian for being such a coward. Anger at myself for letting him in, for trusting that our connection meant as much to him as it did to me.
Most of all, I’m angry at the cruelty of life. Why would it bring me such joy only to snatch it away again, leaving me with nothing but a broken heart and shattered dreams?
The next day, my phone buzzes with an incoming text. I stare at the screen, heart in my throat, hoping yet dreading that it’s from Brian. It is.
I’m sorry, Tanya. You’re right, you deserve better than this. Let’s meet at our usual coffee shop at 3 today so we can talk.
Relief and apprehension war within me. Part of me wants nothing more than to see Brian—to look into his eyes and reconnect. But another part fears what he might say. I’m worried that this meeting will only lead to more heartbreak. Still, I have to know. I text back, simply, Okay, I’ll see you then.
Chapter twenty-two
Heart to Heart
Brian
I slide into the seat across from Tanya, my hands clenching into fists underneath the table. The coffee shop is bustling with activity. The chatter of patrons and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee fill the air. But between Tanya and I, there is only tense silence. Her arms are folded across her chest, her gaze wary. I know I deserve her distrust. I’ve been distant for days now, pulling away for reasons I don’t even know how to explain to her.
We sit, neither of us saying a word. Eventually, someone has to speak up, so I decide to go first. “Hi,” I say.
“Hey,” she says. “Look, I wanted to apologize for that last encounter in the gym. When I got mad…”
“It’s not about that,” I say, waving away her worries.
“So, what is it? You haven’t been answering my calls. You’ve been so distant. Don’t you know how hard it’s been? Diane isn’t speaking to me, and I don’t know what you and she spoke about. Please, Brian. I’m a part of this too.”
When she asks me why I’ve been acting strange, I have to take a deep breath to steady myself. How do I tell her that my daughter, her best friend, gave me an ultimatum? That Diane threatened to cut me out of her life if I didn’t end things with Tanya?
I take a deep, shuddering breath and force the words out. “Diane told me it was either you or her. That if I didn’t end things with you, she would cut me out of her life for good.”
Tanya inhales sharply, her eyes widening. “She really said that?” she asks. I can see the hurt and betrayal in her gaze, and it cuts me deeper than any knife. She thought I was keeping our relationship a secret to protect Diane, not to hide the fact that I was willing to give her up.
I nod, blinking back the tears that threaten to fall. “She was furious when she found out about us. Said she couldn’t believe I’d betray her like that and choose some woman over my own daughter.”
“Oh, Brian.” Tanya gives my hand another gentle squeeze, her voice soft with compassion. “You can’t let her manipulate you like this. You deserve to be happy too.”
“But she’s my daughter,” I protest weakly. “I already lost her mother. I can’t lose her too.”
Tanya sighs, her eyes clouded with sorrow and understanding. “I know how much Diane means to you. But is it really fair of her to make you choose? To give you an ultimatum like that? I mean, it’s not like she’s going to be living here in Florida forever. At some point, she’ll move on, but you’d still be stuck in the past. Don’t you deserve happiness too?”
Her words strike a chord deep within me. She’s right; it isn’t fair. But Diane has always come first, and I don’t know if I can stand up to her now.
An inner turmoil rages inside me as I weigh my options, torn between the two women who mean everything to me. Diane, the daughter I’ve sacrificed everything for, and Tanya, the woman who has brought love and light back into my life. How can I possibly choose between them?
A heavy silence falls between us as we’re both lost in our own thoughts. I stare into my coffee, watching the dark liquid swirl and churn like the chaos inside me. Tanya lets out a soft sigh. I glance up to find her gazing at me with eyes full of empathy. “Brian, I know how much Diane means to you,” she begins gently. “I would never ask you to choose between us. But don’t you think there could be another way? A way for us to compromise?”
