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“He has no say in what I’m about to do to you right now, Opie,” I assert wholeheartedly. “So…either fuck me and put me out of my misery or make me work harder for it. Either way, the outcome is gonna be the same.”
She lifts her chin. “You just said I have the final say.”
I lift my shoulders because, the longer I’m with her again, the more I don’t think I’m going to give up this fight. Her fear is steering the conversation and I can’t blame her for that.
But my pride and sheer stubbornness aren’t going to let this lie easily. If she says she doesn’t want me to move to California, that’s her right. She’s entitled to that answer.
However, if that doesn’t include her never wanting to see me again afterward, she better buckle up for the ride I’m about to give her to win her back.
“You do,” I agree honestly. “However, I wanna see if I can make you deny me anything when I’m deep inside you and you’re so full of me that we’re about to burn and die for this shit.”
“That’s morbidly dark.”
“And I’m morbidly fuckin’ into you, Op. Come here.”
Hesitantly, she takes one step farther but it’s the biggest one of my life. It’s acceptance, a bit of forgiveness, and a chance.
The only one I need.
forty
. . .
LIV
There’s a lot more to say, but I can see the regret and remorse in Hudson’s green eyes with every word that fled from his mouth.
The mouth that’s currently attacking the column of my neck as he undoes the button of my jean shorts and runs his rough palms over my hip to shove the denim down my ass and thighs.
Having his weight back on me is a shot of dopamine. My body ignites with that feel-good feeling and all I want to do is disappear with him until I can’t stand to be cooped up any longer in this hotel room.
His words of I love you ring true and loud in my head and it has developed a warmth in my chest. I wish for nothing more other than to believe every syllable of those words, but I’m on guard for the aftermath of what’s going to go down if I allow him back into my life.
Into Rory’s.
“You don’t know how much I missed you, baby,” he rumbles against my skin, licking and sucking at the skin on my neck. “I never want that to be a reality again.”
If it was as hard for him as it was for me then I can relate to him on every level. The first week in California was a good distraction but everything after that was my own personal hell.
“I’m sorry for not telling you,” I mutter against his cheek. “It’s something?—”
“I shouldn’t have made it a big deal,” he returns. “If she’s part of you then she’s gotta be a big deal.”
God, the way this man worships me with words has me already imagining him here and us being able to start over.
“It was a big deal,” I retort softly. “I didn’t tell you. I didn’t give you a choice.”
“You didn’t need to. I wasn’t entitled to that information, Opie.”
“But she comes with the territory. It won’t be just me and you anymore. That’s a lot to have to deal with when she’s not?—”
“Stop worrying about it,” he tells me, grazing his teeth in warning against the column of my throat. “I might not…be the best male figure, but I’ll try.”
I squeeze a bit at his bicep. “That’s never been a fear in my mind. My only concern was you and how it’d make you feel after what you’ve been through…with your child.”
Hudson cranes his neck over to look down at me. His eyes are full of concern that’s misplaced because it should be me who should still have that for him. I know it’d have to be a constant reminder of what he should’ve had and what was unfairly stolen from him.
“I had to let that go,” he mutters. “I don’t want to sit in that mindset anymore. I don’t want to ignore what you’ve brought to the table. What you’ve done to me.”
