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“Hey, honey. It’s Mom . . .”
Mom. God, I loved it when she referred to herself that way toward me. She has been like a mom for the last few years. She’s been stable, loving, accepting, and understanding. Tears fill my eyes.
“I . . . Well, Tom got back yesterday. He told me that he came to see you and that you had a man at your place.” She inhales an audible breath. “I guess until he told me that, I hadn’t . . . Well, I guess I had been secretly holding out hope that you two would find a way to work things out and get back together.” She pauses for so long that I start to wonder if she hung up. “I get it. More than you know. I get it, and I don’t blame you for making the choices that you’ve made.” Her voice drops to a whisper. “I wish I was as strong as you. I love you. Don’t forget that.”
I swear I hear tears in her voice before the message comes to an end and a digital voice asks if I want to delete it.
I close my eyes, which are filled with tears, and my heart hurts for her. I remember Tom mentioning years ago his dad’s cheating on her. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it because they seemed to be okay. Now I wonder how many times it happened. How many times she let her husband’s infidelities go and looked the other way. No doubt she died a little inside each time she did it. She told me I should forgive Tom for what he did to me, and maybe she said that because that’s what she did.
I swipe away the wetness on my cheeks and let my finger hover over her number. Part of me wants to call her, but part of me knows I shouldn’t. Just when I think I couldn’t dislike Tom more than I already do, I’m proven wrong. Because of him I have to reevaluate my relationship with the only woman who has ever been a mother to me.
I decide to text her.
Lorie, I got your voice mail. I love you, too. I’ll call to check in soon.
I press “Send” before I can talk myself out of doing it. Then I drop my cell to the bedside table, turn out the lamp, and lie down. I hear my cell phone buzz, and I pick it up, expecting to see a reply from Lorie.
It’s a message from Lucas.
Still thinking about that dress, you in that dress, you in that dress wearing those heels. Really I can’t stop thinking about you.
That wasn’t even my best dress. Wait until you see what I have planned for Friday ;)
I’m looking forward to that, baby. Sweet dreams.
Back at you.
I drop my phone to my bedside table. Even with Lorie’s words still ringing through my head, I fall asleep with a smile on my face.
“What the hell is wrong?” Abby asks.
I look up from my phone and know without a doubt my eyes are filled with fear.
“Lucas wants me to have dinner with him and Madeline tonight.” I let her read the text I just got from Lucas. A text where he told me, rather than invited me, to have dinner with him and Madeline at a pizza place near his apartment.
Her eyes scan the message, then move to my face. “And?” She shrugs.
“And . . .” I shake my head. “I can’t have dinner with them. It’s too soon!” I cry in distress. It is too soon, or in my head it’s too soon. Me having dinner with Maddi and Lucas is a huge step. A giant one. Yes, I have always wanted kids, but I never thought I would be dating a man with a child. I don’t know how to navigate this kind of thing.
“You’ve met her before, babe. It’s not a big deal.” Abby’s words pull me from my mental freak-out.
“Yeah, but that was before I had her dad’s tongue down my throat and his hand up my . . .” My eyes widen.
“His hand where?” Abby smirks, and my face gets hot . . . or hotter. “How many dates is this now?”
“If you count him coming over to take care of me when I was sick, eight.” Last Friday we had dinner again, and when it was over he took me home. We made out on my couch until almost three in the morning, then he left. The next day, Saturday—less than five hours later—he brought me a coffee and a bagel. We hung out and went to a movie before he had to pick up Madeline from her friend’s house. I didn’t see him Sunday because he spent the day with Madeline, but I did see him Monday. We had lunch together in the afternoon, after meeting the contractors at my house. I saw him again on Thursday evening for dinner.
