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In a flare of vexation, I nipped at his bottom lip.
He didn’t retaliate. His kiss only turned more patient, more soothing, his hand trailing down my nape with gossamer gentleness. I tangled my fingers in the soft silk of his hair in response and yanked him closer, met the slow probing of his tongue in a last attempt to find the fight I so desperately needed in that heated touch.
He pulled back.
I tore myself away from him, breathing heavily, lips wet and sensitive. My heart was a beating drum behind my ribcage. ‘Youbastard.’
Me?His expression remained suspiciously grave, but a smile gleamed in his dark eyes – a very dangerous smile.Do I need to be even more apologetic?
‘No!’ I swatted a hand at him, barely suppressing the urge to set my teeth in his pointed ears by way of revenge. ‘That’s the last thing I need, you absolute monster! How am I supposed to stay angry when you won’t even fight back?’
He raised an eyebrow.I didn’t realise you intended to stay angry forever.
‘It’s easier than most other emotions,’ I grumbled.
Ah.He considered that.I could carve up a few more alves to infuriate you again?
‘For the bloody gods’ sakes, Creon.’
I suppose that’s a no?he signed wryly.
I allowed myself a joyless laugh and slumped against his shoulder, huddling deeper between my blankets. Somehow, I didn’t even feel like punching him anymore. The anger had leaked out of me, the violent need to take revenge for every minute I’d wasted worrying today; in its place, I found a hollow, ice-cold desperation, a sense of fighting against an unrelenting rising tide.
I just wanted to curl up in his arms and forget about this mess we had created. I just wanted him to mend the world for me again.
‘I need your help,’ I whispered.
He waited wordlessly, his fingers playing with the loose strands of my hair as I stared at the small fire and tried to gather my thoughts. The world was silent around us, the garden so dark – as if nothing even existed anymore except the two of us, safe in our little cocoon of light, safe in each other’s arms.
‘I think I want to tell them.’ It was miraculous how easily those words fell from my lips after a full day of agonising about the very same thing. ‘You were right, last night. These are not secrets we can keep for much longer. But if we’re going to tell them …’
His fingers stilled in my hair.
‘I need you to stop being an idiot,’ I blurted out, my breath quickening. ‘I need you stop acting like you’re the damn king of hell himself – you don’t need to become the best of friends with them, but if you could just be alittlemore yourself when they’re around—’
He sighed, interrupting me.Myself?
‘Yes.’ I snorted and sat straighter on his thigh. ‘The person you are with me. You know, rather than the murderous bastard who might casually kill his allies between lunch and teatime if they annoy him.’
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that murderous bastard isn’t truly me, he signed, and whatever trace of a smile had lingered on his face surrendered to the wryness that now tightened around his lips.Half of the time that version of me seems significantly more real than whatever I am with you.
My mouth slapped shut.
He frowned, those midnight eyes of his fixing on my face.Wrong thing to say?
‘Yes,’ I said briskly and hunched up my shoulders. ‘Don’t pretend that whatever you are with me is some pretty fever dream to escape your contented life of murdering and maiming, Your Highness. Or that being an utter prick to the rest of the world is somehow the noble and honest thing to do.’
I’ve been that utter prick for centuries.He averted his gaze, lips parting in some agitated reflex.I’m fine like this. Don’t expect me to let go of the only—
‘You did let go of it with me.’
You’re not the rest of the world.
‘But you’re not even trying with them!’ There was a raw edge to my voice – not accusation but simple, bitter despair. ‘You just decided they hate you all anyway and that you might as well keep giving them reasons to! And it’s really not very fair to blame me for wanting to keep these secrets whileyou’rethe one who’s making the truth so bloody hard for everyone else to stomach, don’t you see that?’
His wings shifted restlessly.It’s not as if they’d hate me any less if I suddenly made a habit of smiling.
‘If you never try …’
