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“To tell them he’s looking out for me while I’m here.”
“What would make him do that?”
“I have no idea. He didn’t tell me he was going to do it. I don’t even know how he got their number.”
“Do they have a landline?”
“Yeah. They’ve had the same number for years—since I can remember.”
“Then he was probably able to look it up online.”
“But why would he go to the trouble?” she asked. “That’s what has me boggled. He was such an asshole when he first got here. And now he’s trying so hard to bethe man. It’s just...weird.”
Bo shrugged. “He gets off on doing weird things,” he said, but he was willing to bet the way Bastian had acted at first had more to do with Bo than Ismay. Bastian hadn’t liked finding them together, hadn’t wanted to be one-upped by a mere caretaker.
“I guess so,” she said. “But... I’ve been feeling strange ever since I got here. Everything I thought I knew... Never mind.”
He helped her pile more sand on top of the mound she was creating. “Are you having second thoughts about spending the summer here?”
“It’s not that exactly. It’s... Oh, never mind. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“There’s a lot going on.”
“And I don’t really know where to turn,” she admitted.
He wanted to tell her she could turn to him. He also wanted to put his arm around her and pull her close. But he resisted—so he was surprised when her hand slid into his.
He knew he shouldn’t accept the overture, but he wasn’t about to reject it. He stared down at their clasped hands, his heart pounding far harder than it should as he threaded his fingers through hers.
Ismay wasn’t sure what she was doing. To second-guess everything she’d thought was a given—that Remy was a wonderful person who would go on to do great things in the medical field, that they’d overcome the problems they’d been having in their relationship and find a way to stay together, that she’d enjoy a leisurely couple of months on Mariners and go back to California a new woman ready to tackle her own career—made her feel as though she’d been suddenly cast adrift. She certainly couldn’t lean on anyone in her family. They were going through enough with the implosion of her brother’s marriage. She couldn’t lean on Remy or his brother, who were also the reason for most of her concerns. That left Bo as the closest and most accessible friend, the one who’d been supporting her since she’d arrived on Mariners. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t known each other long. When she was with him, everything felt better.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” he said, obviously referring to the contact.
“We’re just holding hands,” she told him. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Lots of friends do it.”
“That’s fine, I guess. Except...”
“Except...” she prompted.
“What I’m feeling is definitely not platonic.”
As guarded and cautious as he was, this admission took her by surprise. But he was a person who called everything the way he saw it and, apparently, this was no different.
Knowing he was right, she pulled her hand away and opened her mouth to say she hadn’t meant anything by it. But that would be a lie. And she couldn’t lie to Bo. She felt like she was always pretending lately. Pretending not to feel estranged from her family, even though she did, probably because she was the only girl and had chosen a different path. Pretending not to feel strange about staying with Bastian when he made her so uncomfortable. Pretending all was well with Remy so that he could get through his exams when she’d been having serious misgivings about their relationship for quite some time. And, of course, she was pretending she hadn’t found what she’d discovered in Remy’s closet. So, instead of telling Bo the contact hadn’t meant anything, she simply said, “I’m sorry.”
He said nothing. They sat in silence, listening to the churning of the ocean and watching the waves wash up the beach toward them. But then she heard him mutter, “Aw, what the hell,” and he put his arm around her and pulled her into the warmth and shelter of his body. “Don’t be worried,” he said. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
She closed her eyes as she rested her head on his shoulder. She had only a second before she had to pull away again, or she really would cross the line, but she was going to take this chance to imprint the feel of him on her brain. If all things remained the same, this summer could be the only time their lives would ever overlap, and there was something tragic about that.
20
Somehow, Ismay managed to fall asleep, but half dreams and troubling thoughts bothered her all night. Bo played a major role in what was going through her mind, which made her uncomfortable. So did the way she justified wanting to spend more time with him. She was engaged to Remy; she needed to get her head and her heart back where they should be. But before she could move in that direction with any degree of confidence, she had to know whether her fiancé was the man she’d always assumed he was.
That was what it came down to, wasn’t it? That was the cause of her confusion and uncertainty. If she felt shereallyknew Remy—completely believed in him—she’d be able to put forth more of a dedicated effort to make the relationship work. Then even the contents of that duffel bag wouldn’t shake her.
But she hadn’t even had the nerve to tell Remy what she’d discovered. She’d been afraid he’d react in a way that would only create more doubt—because she feared her intuition had been trying to tell her something for quite a while. She’d certainly seen personality traits in Remy that concerned her. And those traits, taken together with the panties and jewelry in that bag, were—
“There you are!”
