When the flask was full, I poured coffee into two mugs and mixed sugar and milk in them. That was the way Mom and I loved our morning coffees.
I took the mugs and went to my room.
In the short time it took to make coffee, Mom had already made my bed and was fluffing my pillow.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I said, placing Mom’s cup on the bedside table. “Anyway, cough it up now. What’s bothering you?”
She looked up at me with wide eyes like she’d been caught.
I kept my gaze on her. “Tell me, Mom.”
She lowered her lashes and stared at her knees. “I’m sorry, kiddo,” she said, placing a hand on my knee. “Life’s never been fair to you and I just keep making things worse.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “You getting married to Brian doesn’t affect me at all.”
“It’s not about him, honey.” She let out a heavy breath and added, “Not directly, at least.”
I put my mug down and shifted on the bed so I could look at her properly. Tears were gathering in her soft brown eyes.
“I’m sick,” she said in a quiet voice.
Mom was a tough woman. She’d never cry over being sick. Silence fell between us as she let her tears roll down her cheeks while I watched her closely, looking for a sign she was sick.
She seemed to have lost weight. There was heavy makeup on her face but I’d thought it was because she decided to dress up. What else had she let me miss over the past couple of weeks?
“What happened?” I finally asked.
“Cancer,” she breathed.
Cold washed over me at the mention of that single word.
“It’s spread into my stomach,” Mom continued. “At first, I ignored it thinking I was having gastric troubles. The stomach aches weren’t that bad, after all. A month ago, things suddenly got worse. Brian took me to a doctor and we ran tests after tests. They finally told me I was past the stage of treatment.”
“You knew about this a month ago?” I said in a hollow voice. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Anger and frustration surged through me but some things were starting to make sense. This was probably the reason Mom and Brian rushed to get engaged and married without even involving me.
“I didn’t want to worry you, kiddo,” Mom said in a low voice. She placed her hand over mine and squeezed hard. “You’re my joy and pride. There’s nothing in this world I want more than to see you succeed.”
I shook my head, the anger giving way to pain. “What’s the point of all that if you won’t be around to see any of that?”
Mom wiped my tears while she was crying herself. “I’ll always be watching over you. Besides, it’s not like I’m dropping dead tomorrow.”
“How long do you have?” The words felt like ashes in my mouth.
“I won’t answer that,” she said, wrapping her arms around me. “Nobody can predict the exact date and time, so I’m not going to let you keep thinking about that. We’re going to live each day expecting nothing but the best.”
It was stupid how I was bawling against my mother’s chest when she was the one who was in pain and dying.
“It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” she said gently. “Brian will take care of you. That’s the reason he married me. You won’t be alone when I’m gone. You’ll have a family to protect you.”
“I don’t want anyone.”
Her hands rubbed my back soothingly. “You’re like a daughter to Brian,” she said gently. “Can you look after him for me?”
I shifted away from Mom and brushed away my tears. “If you didn’t get diagnosed, would you guys have married at all?”
She chuckled. “Probably not. I’ve never believed in marriage. Love is all that matters to me.” She let out a sigh. “But marriage provides a safety net. I want that for you, honey. There’s nothing like having a family to support you.”