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T H R E E
- Lucy -
Aiden fell asleep so fast it was comical.
One second we were talking and the next one he went from being his horny, foul mouthed self to looking as innocent and peaceful as a little boy. I watched him sleep for a while, happy to see him looking so relaxed after what must have been an even bigger day for him than it was for me.
And the fact that he passed out so quick must’ve meant I did something right, even though half the time he was telling me what to do or rocking me like a rag doll. I thought I was so strong, so tough, but in his hands I was practically flimsy.
Though somehow the way he treated me made me feel feminine without feeling weak at all.
But I couldn’t believe I sucked his balls.
I’d never done that before. I had no idea what I was doing. Well, I sort of did because Fiona sent me an article about it after she tried it with Peter and said he was “fucking putty in her hands afterwards,” but I never thought I’d actually do it.
But something just came over me. I guess it was knowing in the back of my mind that Aiden had been with so many women. It made me feel like a toothy, lackluster high school blow job wasn’t going to be enough.
And I admit I wanted to impress him. The whole situation felt much more pressurized than when it was just about sex, but with him it was different. Like it was backwards or something.
I mean, we already had the friendship, the mutual respect, and the shared interests. What we needed was to find out if we had the sexual chemistry necessary to be more than friends, and I was starting to believe very much that we did. In fact, I was beginning to think we might have a shot at something here, but I didn’t want to think about it because that only reminded me how unlikely it was.
Statistically, the chance of finding someone that was a good match was very low, and the chance of finding it within my existing circle of friends was even lower, much less my best friend. I was no math whiz in school, but didn’t most relationships have a shelf life? Like produce?
But that didn’t matter. Not right now. Not when I was trying to enjoy the moment, a moment I’d been waiting a stupid amount of time for, a moment I was convinced would never happen. But despite the odds- whatever they were- it was happening.
Aiden and I were naked in bed together with our taste on each other’s lips. It was so crazy that if I actually thought about it properly my head would’ve exploded. Fortunately, my brain was far too fuzzy from champagne bubbles to process the true spectacle and gravity of the situation I was in.
However, in my slightly sleepy, inebriated state, I was convinced that I could’ve given him an even better blow job which gave me some hope. Because now that I’d gone and done it, loads more tips from the article kept popping into my head, reminding me about things I was supposed to do with his balls when I was down there that I totally forgot about.
Like it suggested pursing your lips on the skin of his ball sack and licking that line between them which completely slipped my mind. Granted, the sensory overload was a bit much so I’m lucky I was able to think as clearly as I did, but I might have to do all kinds of research now to keep him on his toes.
After all, that would be vital. He tended to get bored easily, and I knew it. And while he hadn’t tired of me in the last fifteen years, I didn’t want him to lose interest now that I was putting out. My self-esteem couldn’t handle a blow like that.
Speaking of blow, it wasn’t long before Aiden started to make these funny noises in his sleep, some of which involved him exhaling through a tiny gap between his lips that formed from his face being crushed against the pillow.
At least it wasn’t snoring.
But it was still strangely foreign to me.
I mean, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually spent the night with someone, the last time I’d heard another person breathing so close to me in the dark. But despite how unusual it was for me, there was something sort of comforting about it, about being so close to someone.
And I did feel close to him. Perhaps closer than I ever had.
But that didn’t change the fact that the same demons were keeping me awake, making me want to sneak around, making me want to disappear.
Because I didn’t want him to see my scar.
He’d seen enough of me to last him a lifetime over the last few hours as it was. And lucky for me, he liked what he saw, but I desperately wanted to keep it that way.
Unfortunately, his legs were wrapped up in mine and his arm was laying over the dip of my waist. If I moved, he would wake up. Besides, what was I going to do? Put my dress back on? Sneak back to my room and return with my pajamas? How totally off the radar weird would that be?
I could put his shirt on except I didn’t think it was really within my rights to wear part of his finest suit. And a toga wouldn’t hide it unless it was haphazardly wrapped. Plus, even if I knew how to tie one, I didn’t know how to remove a layer of sheets from the bed while we were in it.
And then it hit me. This was a swanky hotel. There were probably slippers and robes in the closet. There had to be. They had a spa here and a heated outdoor pool. Yes. There must be robes. That’s what I would do. I would get up in the morning before he did and slip on a robe and that wouldn’t be unusual at all. It would just be silly Lucy enjoying her five star stay.
Perfect.
It was the best way to keep things light in the morning. Otherwise, he would ask me about it. I knew he would. And I would have to tell him the truth because the barbed wire story would never work on him.
And I didn’t want him to think he’d slept with a crazy person or that I was suicidal or something. Because I wasn’t. I just used to be crazy, but I couldn’t tell him that because it sounded too much like the kind of thing a crazy person would say.
I wasn’t crazy though. I was just a little damaged and angsty after my Mom died. That’s all. It was understandable that I would’ve had a hard time coping. However, the fact that I did this by cutting myself wasn’t exactly normal or endearing.
And while I was pretty sure everyone was a little bit unhinged, I was also sure that the population as a whole was in agreement that hiding one’s crazy was the right thing to do for the good of society. And who better to spare than our loved ones? Especially the ones that had us on a pedestal… or in their bed?
Anyway, once I had a plan, I felt better and my worries subsided. And it wasn’t long before I was relaxed enough to enjoy the warmth of Aiden’s body, close my eyes, and listen to the rhythm of his breath.
