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N I N E
- Maeve -
The frigid air sobered me as soon as I stepped outside, and my arm shot up at the sight of the first taxi. Three taxis later I got lucky, carefully stepping off the frosty curb and into my awaiting chariot.
“Where would you like to go, ma’am?” the Indian driver sang, enunciating every syllable.
I gave him the address of my building, and he confirmed he knew it before turning up the Bollywood music he must’ve been rocking out to before he pulled over. Normally, I hated when drivers forced their musical tastes on me (almost as much as I hated being called “ma’am”), but his words and music bounced off me like the insignificant stimulus they were.
After all, I was distracted by more important matters. Like the warm tingle in my cheek where Finn’s face had grazed mine just enough to give me goosebumps. It was such a small gesture, but I hadn’t expected him to lean into my personal space, much less smell so good and make me feel so…was edible the right word?
It seemed crazy, but that’s how I felt dwarfed in the crook of his neck, my nose filled with his peppery scent. Like a morsel. Like a crumb he could’ve licked into his mouth in one fell swoop. It seemed silly that my body could be so easily swept away by something as simple as the scratch of his stubble, but when his breath warmed my ear, I felt it in all the most unexpected places.
And when he said he’d save a kiss for me…
I mean, it was obviously a line, but it made my lower body clench and boil just the same, as if the promise of his kiss was inevitable. Unable to stop myself from entertaining the fantasy, I imagined what it would be like to let him kiss me, to let him touch me, his large, deft fingers sculpting over my willing, eager body. It wasn’t long before I decided to park the fantasy there and save the rest for the private party waiting for me at home, which I was actually looking forward to now that I’d been cheered by the words of a handsome stranger.
Granted, part of me wished I was the kind of girl that tempted adventures like the one I might’ve had with him if I’d stayed. But I wasn’t. I was the kind of girl that put my ass in a cab when my pleasant buzz threatened to become a liability. And I wasn’t about to change my stripes when I was feeling especially sad and Scotch-filled.
But that was for the best in this case, right? Staying would’ve only ruined things. As it stood, he’d been a perfect gentleman. His flirtation took the sting out of my untimely and unceremonious dumping, and he’d checked me out just enough to make me feel pretty and desirable when I felt anything but.
The only reason we met was because the universe obviously sensed that I needed a sign everything was going to be okay, and it must’ve known only something as unexpected as a blue-eyed guitarist with shovels for hands would be able to drag me from my pity party. And it worked. And now I was feeling optimistic about returning home to my Kurt-free apartment instead of punished, like I felt after I devoured those oversized cupcakes on the sidewalk in the cold.
Still, I liked the idea that there might be an alternative universe where I had the guts to stay and have another drink with him. I could’ve asked him what kind of dog he had and how long he’d been playing the guitar. Maybe I would’ve discovered why he was on his own tonight, which was the question I was most curious about.
He seemed like such a catch. Easy going. Nonjudgmental. In hindsight, he seemed like all the things I wasn’t. And yet we’d had such a pleasant conversation. He didn’t even freak out after I confessed to being a workaholic homebody with baby fever. Then again, maybe our obvious incompatibility was why we got along so well, why we both felt so relaxed.
Too bad dating never felt like that. Like the stakes were low enough you could actually enjoy getting to know someone. Instead, the stakes always felt so high, especially at my age when I didn’t have time to waste. That said, I’d enjoyed wasting time with Finn, and maybe that was more important than unearthing his political and religious views. Maybe.
Not that I’d ever see him again.
I gave the driver a nice tip and hurried inside my building, noting that even the regular doorman had somewhere else to be tonight. Then I rode the elevator to my apartment and let myself in, averting my eyes from Kurt’s wrapped Christmas present on the entryway table.
Within ten minutes, I’d made myself a tea, thrown on my coziest jammies, and curled up on the couch with the Liane Moriarty book Maddy gave me for Christmas. Unfortunately, I struggled to get into it. Not because it was any less well-written than her last, but because all I could think about was the kiss Finn was keeping for me. And as I watched the digital clock under the TV creep closer and closer to midnight, I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d found someone else to give it to.
Funny thing was, I couldn’t decide if I hoped he had. On one hand, I wanted whatever was best for my blue-eyed guardian angel on that cold winter night. But I was equally happy to entertain the idea that he would earmark that kiss for me forever and never spend it on anyone else.
James called two minutes after midnight, and I answered cheerfully, smiling harder with each voice I recognized in the rowdy chorus of hoots behind him. He wished me a happy new year and said he was sorry he missed me before I left the party. Then Maddy got on the phone and said I was the best sister ever and that she loved me very much. Even Quinn and my stepsister Brie took turns offering me well-wishes for the year ahead.
And by the time I hung up, I knew everything was going to be okay. Because it already was. Better than okay, actually. Because all the people I loved were safe and sound.
And that was what mattered most.
