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‘You’re the one who said you wanted a break.’ She crossed her arms. He had tried to speak to her, well, started to.
‘I know I did.’ His voice cracked.
She looked across at him. What was he thinking?
‘Do you mind if we pull over for a moment, please? I could really do with a drink.’ Graham nodded towards the sign for a garage, a large sign indicating a coffee machine was available inside.
‘Of course not.’ Layla stifled a yawn as Graham turned off the road.
Driving into a pace, Graham pulled the handbrake up and turned to face her, his face flooded with concern. ‘You didn’t get much sleep last night either, then?’
‘I don’t think I got any.’ She yawned into the back of her hand. ‘Sorry. You didn’t?’
Graham shook his head. ‘I need to explain. Yesterday was just too much for me. Eli turned up in the morning and then my ex and cousin.’
‘But I don’t want to get with Eli. I tried to stop him from coming. I told you that.’ She looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. ‘I didn’t plan it or even know he was coming.’
‘I know. I know you didn’t, but with him turning up and my cousin visiting...’ He shook his head. ‘I panicked. The feelings I have for you are so deep and everything between us has just been so quick. I just panicked.’
‘The feelings you have for me?’ That’s what he’d said, wasn’t it? He’d used the present tense to refer to those feelings, not the past tense. ‘You still feel that way towards me?’
‘Of course I do. My feelings haven’t changed.’ He shifted in his seat and faced her. ‘What I’m trying to say is I automatically put all these barriers up. All I kept telling myself is that you’d had a crush on Eli for months, years, I don’t know, and then here he was asking you out on a date. Why wouldn’t you say no?’
‘Because I don’t feel anything towards him anymore. I probably never did. Not really. It’s you want to be with. It’s you I love.’ She clasped her hand over her mouth, the fierce flush of embarrassment coursing through her veins. Had she actually said that out loud?
Silence hung between them, the air in the car palatable.
‘What did you just say?’ Graham’s voice was barely above a whisper.
‘Sorry, I... I didn’t mean to say that.’ She lowered her hand to her lap, digging her nails into her palm.
‘You didn’t mean it?’ Graham frowned.
Keeping her eyes on her hands, she closed her eyes. How should she answer? If she told him the truth, if she said how she truly felt about him, then it would probably scare him away. If she didn’t though, if she told him she didn’t feel that way, it might push him further away. She took a deep breath. What did she have to lose? ‘I know we’ve not known each other long. I know it’s a completely crazy thing to feel or say, but, yes, I’ve developed feelings for you.’
There it was again. The silence.
Reaching for the door, Layla jumped out. ‘I’ll grab the coffee.’
‘Wait..’
Closing the door behind her, she gasped in the diesel-laden air, drawing it into her lungs as she tried to slow her pounding heart. There, it was over. She’d sealed the deal with her daft mouth. there was no going back now. Only back to her parents’ place in Spain.
‘Thanks,’ she mumbled as someone held the door to the garage open for her and she bee-lined for the coffee machine. Keeping her head down, she waited for the whirring of the machine as it awakened, thankful for once for the time it took.
Sensing someone coming up behind her, she kept her eyes on the paper cup, the brown liquid slowly dribbling down inside it. They’d just have to wait.
‘I love you too, you know. And, yes, I agree, it’s a crazy thing to say after only knowing each other for just a over a week.’ Graham’s voice was low, his mouth close to her ear.
Layla turned around slowly. ‘You’re not just saying that?’
Shaking his head, he held out his hands towards her. ‘That was what was making me panic, how I found myself feeling about you.’
Laying her hands in his, she breathed a sigh of relief as he held them. ‘But you said it was because of seeing your cousin and your ex again. As well as Eli turning up, I mean.’
‘Yes, it was. As soon as Dave, my cousin, walked through Harry and Diane’s door, I realised that I wasn’t angry or upset with him anymore.’ He grinned. ‘It confirmed how I was feeling about you. That’s why them turning up made me panic and tell you I needed a break. I didn’t want to find out you didn’t feel the same way I did. I couldn’t put myself out there to be hurt again.’
‘I would never hurt you.’
