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Lilith punched him in the arm again. “Fair play to you,” I laughed.
*****
As Nat had mentioned, there were two bouquets on the kitchen table. Even before reading the cards it was pretty bloody obvious who’d sent what. A tasteful hand-tied bouquet of white tea roses surrounded by a cloud of gypsophila was from Henry, Blaine’s ex-butler and his new boyfriend Victor, currently on holiday in the Bahamas and blissfully in love. A ridiculous, technicolour rainforest in a vase – probably with a couple of rare-breed monkeys lurking in the branches – was from Gabriel James, High King of Flash Bastardry.
As I poured out a large glass of the red wine that Nat had left for us, Lilith took something from the fridge that could best be described as a glass full of snot. I stared at it in disgust. “What the fuck is that?”
“Spirulina and Wheatgrass smoothie. Good for the immune system. You want to try some?” She offered me the glass.
“Thanks, but I think I’d rather eat my own shit, if it’s all the same. D’you mind if I just pour another glass of red?”
“You don’t have to ask, Finn. This is your home too, remember?”
“Yeah yeah, I remember. It’ll sink in soon, I promise.” My home too. Except for Lilith paying for it, and letting me stay there whilst I freaked out about even setting a foot outside the front door and brought a grand total of fuck-all to the table. Time and time again, she’d reassured me that it didn’t matter, that I should take as long as I needed to settle in, but I knew that no one, not even Lili, could have the patience it would need to see me fixed. I had to be on borrowed time.
She rinsed her empty glass of pond-slime residue and put it in the dishwasher. “Right. I need a shower to wash England from my skin, and then I need my bed.”
I took a good mouthful of wine. “Yeah, even I might be able to catch a couple of hours myself tonight. I should probably take my case up to the… Um, my bedroom and see if I can find my toothbrush, huh?” I grabbed the rest of the bottle as I headed out of the kitchen.
*****
When Lilith first mentioned that she lived in an apartment, I’d imagined something pretty much along the same lines as the flat where I’d grown up. There, you’d had two delightful choices if you wanted to get to our shite-hole on the fourteenth floor: a permanently knackered lift that stank of piss, or a stairwell that served as a multi-storey parking lot for at least half of Dublin’s smackheads. Then if you survived the journey you’d find a couple of matchbox-sized bedrooms, a bathroom so tiny that two people couldn’t stand in it at the same time, and a living room with a laughable ‘kitchen area’ that was no more than a microwave, a grease-encrusted hob and a cracked sink.
Instead, a stunning nineteenth century townhouse was split into three separate homes. It had been built around a sunlit private quadrangle and fishpond, and Lilith’s sprawling apartment took up three floors and a roof terrace that looked out over the sea.
To my disbelief she’d simply handed over the entire first floor to me on my arrival in her hometown. Not just a room, or a corner, or a rotting mattress in a cellar, but a whole fucking floor, with its own entrance door that I could actually lock from the inside.
I set my case on the vast bed and closed my eyes. “Welcome home, Strachan,” I said, hearing my voice form the words, but not quite daring to believe them. My whole world expanded around me almost to the point of panic and I felt an all-too-familiar fluttering in my ribcage, still an hour too early for my evening fix.
With my eyes still shut I pushed the gathering shadows away and replaced them with an image of Lili in her yoga pants and not much else. The same pants that would by now be neatly folded on the floor of her vast bathroom. Before I lost my nerve or began to over-think the outcomes I necked another glass of wine, kicked off my shoes and headed upstairs.
*****
I tapped gently on the bathroom door and asked, “You want some company?”
“That would be rather delightful,” Lilith replied from within. I pushed the door open to see her standing at the mirror and using a handful of cotton wool to remove her make-up. Her clothes were, as I had predicted, folded beautifully on the marble floor and she was entirely naked.
I’d become all too used to Blaine flaunting her nudity as a challenge, a weapon, a constant reminder that sex was her business. I’d quickly learned that for Lili, it was purely a case of her not giving a shit about wearing clothes once she was in the security and warmth of her own home. She padded about the place without a stitch on if she was preparing for a shower, or bed, or even if she was fetching clean underwear. I wasn’t complaining; a nude Lilith Bresson was a living work of art in her own right as far as I was concerned.
She’d set the lighting to a subtle glow that cast soft shadows around the room, and I wondered if she’d been expecting me. It was always harder for me to see my damage in the half-light. Still, I waited until Lili had stepped into the shower before I undressed and joined her under the scalding jets of water that burst from the ceiling and walls with the force of water cannons.
Lilith
I stood with my back to Finn with my palms pressed against the far wall as I let the water begin to pound the tension from my neck and shoulders. Strong, lean arms wrapped around my waist, and I gave a sigh of pleasure as I leaned back against his chest.
We should, I suppose, have started with some mutual back-washing ceremony as a preamble to anything more carnal, but I turned to face Finn and then we were kissing with a passion that suggested we’d been parted for months rather than minutes. I entwined my hands through his sodden hair and pulled him closer so that water streamed over both our faces and washed away the accumulated filth of the day.
Fatigue was trumped by lust; a need to take, and be taken by, this beautiful man who now shared my life. Even through the hardest days of the trial, it was this glorious chance to share each other’s bodies, to explore the uncharted continent that was Finn’s arousal and pleasure, that had kept us both as close to sane as we were ever going to be. A little act of healing at the end of each long day.
It appeared that the need was mutual. Finn’s hard-on pressed against my belly and as I gently played my fingers over the tip he gave a deep, primal moan of pleasure. Despite my urge to bring us both to the floor, I knew that now I had to let him take the lead; let him set the pace or stop and pull away completely if that was what was required to keep him safe and in control.
He caressed my face and I caught his thumb delicately between my teeth, sucking at it and drawing it further into my mouth. Finn’s glorious jade eyes widened in surprised pleasure, and I cast him my most innocent smile. “Oh, have I found another one?”
“Oh yeah.”
“My goodness, Mr Strachan,” I murmured between gentle bites of each finger in turn. “I believe you’re just one walking erogenous zone. So the question is,” I began to move up his arm, kiss by kiss, “which one is the most sensitive?” I stood on tiptoe and used my teeth to tug lightly on his earlobe. “Is it this?”
Finn closed his eyes. “Might be…”
