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“Well at least I know there’s a career available for me if the demand for high-end erotic portraiture dries up.” Lilith applied the handbrake and jumped down from the car as calmly as if we’d just driven to the supermarket. I managed to get out without my legs folding beneath me.
“So now I’ve survived the journey, do I get to know what we’re doing here?” I asked.
“You’re going to learn to swim,” Lilith declared as she pulled her holdall from the back seat.
I made one last attempt to cling on to my rapidly-evaporating foul mood. “Er, I might already know how to swim. Did you consider that?”
“Yeah, except you don’t,” Lilith stated. “Because if you knew how to swim, you’d have tried to get across Lake Albermarle within a week of arriving, or drowned in the attempt.”
Check...
“Anyway, I haven’t got anything to wear and there’s no fuckin’way I’m going in the sea in the nip.” I watched as Lilith got a carrier out of the holdall. “Ah, bugger it, let me guess. This is where you give me a pair of swimming shorts that are no doubt both a perfect fit and a colour that’s a perfect match for my skin tone. Am I right?”
Lilith laughed and threw me one of the carrier bags. “Royal blue. I’ll even shut my eyes whilst you put them on.”
...And mate.
I tried to scowl at her, but the impish grin she gave me in return made it harder and harder to sustain. “Bossy posh wee mare,” I grumbled, and opened the package.
“Grumpy Irish bastard,” Lilith retorted, and stuck her tongue out at me before turning her back. “Now go on, show your delectable arse to the seagulls and get changed. And don’t forget the Factor 50 – I don’t want to be the one responsible for you spontaneously combusting when you expose that pale Celtic hide to the sun.”
By the time I’d stripped out of my jeans and t-shirt and pulled my shorts on, Lilith had changed into a black bikini that looked predictably amazing on her bronzed and taut runner’s frame.
“At least I can make a right tit of myself in privacy, I suppose,” I said as we walked towards the water, which was marginally less humiliating than pleading Please don’t make me do this because I don’t think I can deal with finding yet another thing I can’t do.
“Actually, one of the reasons I decided to bring you swimming is that I think you’ll be good at it.”
“Yeah, sure you did.”
Lilith stepped in front of me and looked me up and down. “You have the build, for a start. Wide shoulders, slim waist. Disgustingly decent arm strength for someone who doesn’t exercise.”
As she spoke she ran her hands over my body, and her flawless brown skin was stark against my own which, after a life spent in shadows both literal and metaphorical, could best be described as pale blue. Under the bright midday sun, the silver network of scarring on my hands and arms was virtually fluorescent, a horrific map of self-destruction. “And… oh God, I know it has nothing to do with stopping you from sinking, but you’re also so very bloody beautiful. Come here a moment.”
Her eyes were full of a warmth that I really didn’t deserve as she stood on tiptoe to kiss me, delicately at first, with that subtlest of pauses to allow me to give or deny consent.
With an unpleasant little stab of guilt I realised that Lilith did that every single time we kissed, or made love, or even held hands; she had never once forced intimacy on me, never assumed I would accept her touch, and had managed it so adroitly that I hardly noticed it was happening. Until now. Everything my counsellor had advised to ensure the progress of my ‘personal sexuality journey’, Lilith had been doing instinctively from the very first moment we’d met.
Lilith waited for me. I leaned in and returned the kiss, long and hard.
My permission duly given, her nimble tongue parted my lips and gently brushed against my teeth as she entwined her fingers in my hair, and I gave a soft moan of pleasure and pulled her lithe body against mine until my hard-on began to test the limits of my new attire. I was just wondering if there was sufficient space to get horizontal on the back seat of the Jeep when Lilith pulled away with a little sigh of regret.
“Hey, don’t stop on my account,” I said, and Lilith gave me a wicked little smile.
“No more distractions, bad man. We can finish this later, as long as you haven’t drowned.”
“Yeah, you’re fuckin’ hilarious, lady. Does the kiss of life count as a snog if the recipient’s dead?”
“Well let’s hope we never have to find out, eh? Trust me, Finn,” she said, and hugged me close for a few moments more, until I was as brave as I was ever going to be.
“Come on then, let’s get it over with,” I said, and with Lilith at my side I waded out into the sea for the first time in my life.
I tried one last plea as the water began to rise above my waist. “You know I don’t have the faintest fucking idea what I’m doing, yeah?”
“It’s easy.” Lilith effortlessly trod water next to me and grinned. “Just stay afloat.”
“Oh, well why didn’t you just bloody say that in the first place?” I retorted, but the fight was already gone from me. I had my mermaid by my side, the sun on my back, and the sea shone sapphire-bright as far as the eye could see. There were definitely worse ways to die.
*****
