AllFreeNovel
Share Us
As much as I want it, I can’t let his intimacy turn this into something it’s not. We’ll lose ourselves in each other. Sure, it would be extraordinary living in paradise with him. But it’s only temporary because when we come up for air, reality will cut us off at the knees. This is a means to an end. Period.
Before he questions the sudden change in my mood, I hollow my cheeks and rise on my knees, taking him all the way in and partly down my throat, swallowing. A little trick I learned in college.
“Christ, Mae,” Remi hisses, and deep sounds of pleasure erupt from his diaphragm. He sounds like pure ecstasy.
I’m practically a dripping faucet of arousal listening to him. Then I’m sucking, alternating between bobbing my head and swallowing around him. I gag, drool dripping over my chin. It makes me rabid, so I go faster.
“Fuck, ba—S-slow down. Shit.”
I’m so lost in my head I don’t realize his hands are free. Not until he pulls me off of him and I fall back, gasping for breath.
Devoid of emotion, I raise my eyes to his. “You didn’t come.”
Chest heaving in big gulps of breath, his brows pinch and he reaches for me.
I dodge his advance. “Don’t,” I say, wiping the saliva off my chin with the back of my hand.
“What happened between the kitchen and your bedroom?”
My chin dips because I know I’ll sound like a broken record. Because it’s not what he wants to hear. Because I know I’m leading him on.
When I don’t answer, he gets impatient. “Miranda. What. Happened?” The frustrated growl of his voice shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does.
Swallowing a ball of regret in my throat, I answer him honestly. “I walked past Isabel’s room.” My eyes burn when they reach his. “I can’t do this to her, Remi. I can’t.”
“So … what? You were going to get me off? Tit for tat. Even Steven.” He rakes his fingers through his hair. “I thought we were on the same page.” Sliding off the bed, he kneels in front of me, his cock half-mast but still impressive. “I want you. I know you want me.”
“That’s beside the point. We’re playing with fire. Before we know it, the whole house will be nothing but ash.” I bite my cheek to keep my chin from trembling.
When Remi reaches for me, I let him because I need him. I’ll always need him.
Pulling me toward his chest, he leans against the side of my bed frame, with me straddling the thing I’m trying not to become addicted to. He brushes the sweaty hair off my face and tucks it behind my ear. His eyes are intense, glowing burnt umber with a spark of something else I don’t want to recognize.
“I’m not leaving you, and I’m certainly not leaving that little girl.” The soft pad of his thumbs draw circles on the top of my thighs. “Unless you kick me out, I’m with you.”
“Someone’s going to get hurt. Regardless of who it is, Isabel will pay the price.”
Gathering me in his arms, he pulls me in tight. He feels so good against my bare skin, and it doesn’t escape my notice that he hardens between us. I sigh and liquefy against him.
“I don’t know why you’re so adamant this won’t work out. You can’t project onto me the things that piece-of-shit deadbeat did.”
I freeze. It’s the first time he’s ever brought up Isabel’s father. I certainly don’t talk about him. So how can he pinpoint my fear with uncanny precision?
You know the answer. You just won’t admit it.
He kisses the top of my head, then finishes his thought. “He doesn’t deserve to breathe, let alone have either of you.”
Tears fall from my eyes, and I shudder against him. He said everything I didn’t know I needed to hear.
Remi kisses my bare shoulder then whispers in my ear, “Let me in.”
Pissed that I’m crying or maybe relieved that I’m able to lower my guard a little, I seek his comfort and curl further into his embrace. “Promise me something.”
“Whatever you want.”
“Don’t catch feelings for me.” I lean back to face him. “I’m serious—don’t. This isn’t a relationship. The minute it starts to feel like one, I’m out.”
His eyes dim before he collects himself. “Fine,” he spits. “But as long as we’re sleeping together, we’re not seeing anyone else. Understood?”
