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“Okay, I’ll tell you everything, just… You have to calm down. I can’t lose you because of this.” My hands are shaking, and tears build in my eyes. If something happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself. “Please.”
He makes an effort to control his temper. “Give me your arm.” His voice is low, deadly.
Anxiety creeps up my chest, reaching for my throat. Fidgeting with my fingers, I don’t move. How do I tell him his father did this? He’ll become enraged.
“Miranda!” he demands.
I startle at the sharp tone of his voice. This is okay. The doctor told us he’d be irritable.
“I will, but you have to calm down.” My palms are up in a placating gesture.
He narrows his lids, and his lip curls. “What are you going to do when they find out who hit me?”
Fury shoots through my veins, my hands tightening into fists. “Touché.” I will cut them up in teeny tiny pieces, killing them slowly and painfully.
Sitting on the side of his bed, I give him full view.
Sucking in a breath, his free hand lifts and his fingers phantom over the marks. “Tell me.”
My eyes slide shut, and I take a deep breath. “I had a small altercation with your father,” I start with a calm voice. The one I use on Isabel when she’s throwing a tantrum.
Remi’s hand trembles, and his face becomes purple. I’m so afraid he’s going to do damage to his heart, so I pick up my shirt and swiftly put it back on, covering the mess his father made.
“I’m going to fucking skin him alive,” he vows.
I understand, but it’s not something he needs to worry about right now. “That’s going to be difficult because he’s in custody.” I play with his blanket, wishing I wasn’t so thoughtless. “I did it on purpose. He was threatening to take you away.” I sniff. “I saw an opportunity and took it, goading him into marking me.” When I turn to him, his eyes and nose are red-rimmed.
“What?! Why?” The ferocity behind his words slaps me like a whip.
I recoil, stunned by his tone. “Evidence,” I shoot back, aggrieved. “He said some pretty awful things, and I wanted him as far away from you as possible.” I wipe the tear falling down the sharp plane of his cheek, but his face remains stony. “I recorded him. Jay was on the phone the whole time, and trust me, they were ready to come with military force.” My mouth quirks, trying to lighten the situation. It doesn’t work. “I met with the cops the next day. Gave them a report and filed a restraining order.” I shrug. “It worked.”
Remi is quiet for a while. His mood seems to have evened, but he holds my stare with such sorrow. I rub his arm like I did when he was under, trying to keep him relaxed.
“I love you, Mae,” he starts, voice full of gravel. “I’m grateful for the lengths you’d go through to keep me safe.” He grabs my hand, halting my touch. His irises are a cyclone of anger and anguish. “But don’t you ever do that shit again.”
Outrage slithers through me and I stand, pulling away from him. “I can handle myself. I did it because the man I love was being threatened, and I’d do it all over again.” My chest heaves with my words. How dare he get so upset?
“I didn’t say you couldn’t handle yourself. I said don’t put yourself in a situation like that again.” He scrubs his face, the last of his tears drying. “My father is a sociopath. Who knows how long I would have been under. If something happened to you, where would that leave Isabel?”
I press a hand against the stab in my sternum as my lungs turn to ice, freezing my heart. An earthquake of regret rips into me, and shame shakes through my limbs. How could I have been so careless?
“Baby, I know you’d fight heaven and hell for me, and I would for you too, but…” He sees my chin quiver. “She comes first.”
“I know. You’re right,” I whimper, slapping the moisture off my face. “I just… I was so scared of losing you, I wasn’t thinking,” I admit. Because of my recklessness, Isabel could have lost us both.
I’ve been so worried about neglecting her while I work. Where was that concern when I put myself in the line of fire? I just made myself a prime target. If things hadn’t gone as planned, Isabel would have lost her mother completely. It could have been a devastating error and egregiously unfair to my baby.
Her silly grin pops into my head, but it quickly morphs into deep melancholy—her cheeks gaunt and gray, her glinting eyes dull with sadness.
My hand flies to my gut as it wrenches.
“Hey, come here.” He points to his mouth, and I give him a shaky kiss. “You and Isabel are my world. You will never lose me. No matter what happens, God himself—”
“Herself,” I interject.
He smiles. “God herself couldn’t keep me away.”
Part of the night, I slept half sitting on Remi’s good side, until Nurse Vicky came and insisted someone bring me a recliner. While only marginally better than the stiff chair, I fell back asleep easily.
