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“I’m Cody, Kiara’s husband and Remi’s best friend. He wouldn’t trust Isabel with just anyone. I hope you don’t mind that I brought her here. ”
“Where’s Kiara?” I ask robotically as we make our way down a hall and into a living room. My nose won’t leave Isabel’s hair, her scent and the weight of her against my chest comforting.
“She’s with her brother.”
My mind is foggy, and nothing makes sense.
“When can we see him, Dad?” The young boy who was playing with Isabel seems to be about eight or nine. I wonder if he’s Kiara’s son.
“As soon as he’s out of surgery, Mom will call, bud.” Cody pulls his son under his arm.
I don’t want to wait for a phone call. I need to go now. “Really, we should be going.”
Cody turns to me, still holding onto his son. “He told me about you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re the one he’d risk his job for,” Cody says with a smile. “You’re the one he loves.” Even though his voice is soft, the word “love” reverberates like the hum of a ghost fiddle.
Instead of feeling elated at this news, my face crumbles. Remi should have been the one to tell me, not his best friend.
Isabel starts to whimper, and Jay tries to pull her from me.
“Mija, I let Ian know where we are, and he’s coming to pick me up. Let me take Isabel to my house,” they implore. “She can stay with us for as long as you need.”
Sniffing, I hold onto my baby, not wanting to give her up but knowing she’ll be okay with Jay. I’m no good to anyone in my state right now, and every emotion I feel, she’ll feel too. Remi taught me that. He also taught me there is magic in the dawn of a new day.
Each memory leaks out of my eyes in despondent tears. It seems so long ago now. Another lifetime.
“Yeah, okay.” I wipe my eyes before brushing Isabel’s hair from her face, waking her up. “You want to go to Unty Jay’s house? Ian’s coming, and I bet he’ll make you cookies.”
“That, he will. What do you say, cariño?”
Rubbing her eyes, she gives them a little nod and they pull her from me, giving her a big kiss on her chubby cheek.
“You be a good girl for Mommy, okay? Think about all the fun things you want to do when Remi gets better.” Because he will get better. Life can’t be that cruel, can it?
I kiss and rub her back several times before Jay leaves, holding my heart in their hands.
With my arms empty, the gravity of what’s going on pulls me down again. A riptide of agony is what holds me under.
“He was supposed to meet me for lunch.” My voice is full of woeful bewilderment.
How did this happen? We had plans. We’re supposed to be enjoying burritos, and now he’s lying on a hospital bed somewhere, fighting for his life. How did fate turn so cruel so fast? I feel robbed, cheated, inconsolable.
“I can’t believe this is happening. I need to go to the hospital. I can’t sit here and wait for a phone call.” I don’t mean to be so impatient, but my heart is going into cardiac arrest.
“It’s okay. I understand. There’s nothing you can do while he’s in surgery, and I need to stay with Jackson,” Cody says. “Remi wouldn’t want you to be alone.”
Even though he’s right, the pull to be closer to Remi is the equivalent to the force of Saturn’s magnetosphere—powerful and unrelenting.
“I just feel so helpless.” I check my phone for something to do, as if Remi is going to call any second and say this was all a big misunderstanding.
Cody grabs some shot glasses from the cabinet and pours us both a finger of Gentleman Jack. He slides one over to me.
“Thanks.” I twist the glass around on the counter.
“I’m sorry. Did they tell you what happened?”
