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“I know. It’s like the kids can sense something’s wrong with their Daddy. I just need him home, Mase.”
Tightening my grip on the phone, I vow, “And I’ll bring him home, no matter what I have to do. He’s coming home to you and the kids.”
She sniffles and says her goodbyes. I believe she’ll be on the phone again before the day ends. I don’t blame her, but the selfish part of me could do without them. I have Aspen, Myles has Emma and his kids, but he’s my brother. My twin. No one understands our bond. It’s unexplainable, even to us most of the time. Facing life without him is unimaginable. Even when I stayed in Mercy for a few months, and he returned to Willow’s Peak, and we didn’t speak, we knew where each other was and that we were okay.
I slide my phone into my back pocket and take one last long drag on the burned-down cigarette. I’m about to round up the brothers to go on another search hunt, but the sound of home fills the air. Leo is the first to ride around the corner, followed by JJ and the rest of the Willow’s Peak chapter—the sight of them is a balm coating my fear. A sense of peace tugs at me, having my brothers from home here, and I walk over to them as they come to a stop. Aspen’s car is last to drive around the brothers, and I point off to the lot beside the bar where she can park. Usually, I’d be at her door and yanking her into my arms. But today, I stand where I am and watch her walk toward me. She looks tired, and it pains me she’s unsure of what’s to happen when she reaches me. My gaze doesn’t stray to her stomach. I keep it firmly on her face, and I tuck her into my side when she nervously stands before me. I couldn’t give a fuck what’s going on between us right now, I need her. There have been moments over the last few months where I can’t bear to touch her at all, and then moments like this where I need to be touching her in some way.
“Let’s take this inside,” Leo instructs.
Dad approaches me, and I’m met with even more worry. It’s warranted; he’s our father, but he knows, as much as I do, that this is an unfortunate consequence of our lifestyle. We all know the violent possibilities we could face at any time, and for themost part, brothers are at peace with it. Plus, we’re arrogant enough to believe no one can touch us.
“Still nothing?” Dad asks as we walk inside.
“Not a fuckin’ thing. This fuckin’ town sucks donkey balls.”
“I haven’t been here in years, but from the ride in, not much has changed. It’s still a shithole.” His eyes drop from mine to Aspen. “You okay? You look a little peaky.”
“It was a long drive.”
“Come on, let’s head in,” I suggest, not wanting Dad to continue probing into her business.
Inside, the brothers gather around Leo as he plants his feet in the middle of the bar. I’m momentarily distracted by Aspen’s perfume. I want to rewind to before I went to prison when I was still the guy she first met. I had everything, and I was happy. Now, my head is clouded with fog, and during the odd occurrences when the fog temporarily disappears, darkness is left in its place. I haven’t been able to see Aspen clearly in a long while, and it frustrates me more than anything.
Leo clears his throat. “I can’t figure out how, in the last three days, we still don’t have any fuckin’ idea where our brother is. Please, someone, explain how that’s fuckin’ possible?”
Wyatt steps forward. “They’ve gone to ground, Leo.”
“They flood the town, run you out, but now you can’t find them?” His sarcasm runs freely and bites deep. “I’m starting to believe the notion of being a Lost Soul is lost on you fuckers.”
JJ steps in, and he looks more pissed than Leo. “This is your hometown, you’ve gotta know possible locations?”
“Of course, we had possible locations, and that’s where we’ve been looking,” Jonah pipes in.
“We’ve looked everywhere,” Creep chimes in, but Leo spins on him. “Obviously not every-fuckin’-where!” he bellows.
I feel so much better having Leo here. I don’t regret voting him in as president. I never once held doubt for him when Casasked us to cast our votes, and neither did Myles. He’s making all the right moves, and I’ll follow him for the rest of my life.
“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” Leo says, reigning in his temper. “We’re all gonna head out. Despite your inability to see them, they’re certainly gonna see how many of us are here now. Every rock and every fucking stone will be turned until we find our brother.”
Brothers raise the roof in agreement. Leo asks for a map of the town, and Wyatt is quick to point out the map we’ve got spread out on the back table.
Brothers shift and surround the table, heads bent over the map. I’ve got the map memorized. I pull Aspen up to a room that’s being used for brothers to get their heads down.
“I can’t believe they got Myles.” This is the first thing she says once we’re alone.
“Yeah, well, they’re gonna pay for it with their lives sooner or later.”
“No doubt.”
It goes quiet between us, and I'm not too fond of it.
“How are you doing?” I ask her.
“Not good, but it doesn’t matter until we get Myles home. How are you coping?”
Snorting, I tell her, “Not too fuckin’ well.”
She crosses the room and grips onto my cut. “I know we’re not in a good place, but I’m here for you. Don’t ever doubt that.”
