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“We’ve not really spoken of having kids before, don’t put that shit on me.”
“Well, here we are. There’s a child now in play and you have five seconds before I walk out that door and make the decision for you.”
“Fuck, babe. I just lost my dad, and you want to put this on me. Now.”
“Yes, because if you tell me you want us. I will be at your side when we get home, and I will be there for you through all the grief that’s going to roll your way.”
My mind races with what I should do, and what I want to do, but at the end of it all, the only thing sticking out is the shit I don’t want.
“I don’t want a baby.”
Her gasp hits me in the gut.
“Then I guess we have our answer. You promised me forever, but it was only if it was on your terms.” She scrubs her face and then inhales deeply. “You’re not the man I fell in love with. You haven’t been for a long time now. I’ll go stay with Rudi in the city until we sort out what we’re going to do with the house.”
She bends down and picks up her bag. I’m frozen. I couldn’t move even if I tried.
“I know you’re grieving, but you’re a royal asshole.”
A part of me wants to turn around and watch her walk away from me, but the dominant part of me doesn’t want the memory burned into my mind.
Chapter Nine
Pope
There’s a soft rap at the door, and then Ky’s walking in with a dinner tray. It smells like soup. I have never eaten so much of the fucking stuff since reaching this no-good age.
I open my eyes, and my room is filled with beauty as I lay eyes on my daughter. I forget most of the time that I nearly lost her and that she had become one of the things I despised—a junkie. But when I do remember, and I think back on those dark days, I see the light that followed. Sally brought her to me, to my world that Kyla had no knowledge of, and I forced her to drag herself out of Hell. She did, and from those dark days, everything changed. I got married to the only woman I love, and my daughter found her own love and made her own little family. I no longer lived in two worlds.
“I brought your dinner up since you haven’t been down in a while.”
She places the tray on my nightstand and sits down on the edge of my bed. The second I see the crease between her browsas she looks at me, I tell her, “I’m fine. I’ve just got a chill. Don’t fuckin’ look at me like that.”
The chest pains are growing more robust now, she needs to leave. I won’t have her sitting at my bedside as I drift off.
“Christ, Dad. How am I supposed to look when I don’t know where my son is and my dad, a stubborn old bastard, looks like shit?”
I manage a slight smirk for her. “Like you’ve got nothing to worry about. That’s how you’re supposed to look.”
Pain radiates across my chest, and I inhale deeply without bringing her attention to it.
“The club has Myles. He’s in the hospital but he’s going to be fine. Cas just called.”
A rush of relief escapes her and then she frowns. “Why hasn’t Rick called?”
I lock eyes with her and say, “He’ll get round to it, I’m sure. There’s nothing for you to worry about now. And as far as I’m concerned, I’m old, I’m supposed to look like shit.”
“I think I should call the doctor in. You’re too pale.”
“I don’t go out in the fuckin’ sun, Ky.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
She’s got me there. The pain subsides, and I reach for her hand.
“Sweetheart, whether I’m here or passed on, don’t worry about me, and certainly don’t fuckin’ cry. If I’m gone, remember all that you still have. It’s natural. Look at me, I’m a fuckin’ miracle. I should’ve been gone a long time ago, and we both know it.”
“You’re talking like you’re on your way out.”
