AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I wonder what her response will be when you tell her.”
“I’m prepared for the worst. She’s taught me that. She already knows about Jeyne’s letters. One of them anyway.”
Haydon’s eyes widened in surprise. “You told her?”
“No,” I said emphatically. “While I was away in New Orleans, she found one of the letters in the plantation ledger. I had left in there by mistake.”
“I can only imagine her wrath.”
I rose and opened up my private safe, pulling out all of Jeyne’s letters. “Here they are,” I said.
Haydon sifted through the letters, one by one. “This is unbelievable...” Haydon said in awe. “And they are nearly perfectly preserved.”
There was no virtue in keeping anything from him and so I told him some of what Jeyne had relayed in her letters to me, the arduous and difficult journeys she endured after she was sold and taken away. Haydon listened intently and stared on in disbelief, completely drawn in by the story.
“Thomas, I...I don't know what to say...”
“Sometimes there’s nothing to say, especially in matters such as this. I'm just glad you agreed to come.”
Haydon’s face looked somber. “You know, Thomas,” he said thoughtfully, “there is a strong possibility that Jeyne is missing...or dead.”
“I considered that.”
“My heart goes out to you,” he said. “I understand why you're going. There’s nothing more powerful than love. It motivates us in so many ways. I still feel Ariana around me. She's everywhere. She keeps me sane...or at least the memory of her does. But dreams, Thomas, dreams can be torture. They give us the illusion they can be realized and that all we have to do is simply wake up and live them out. But that's just not true. These are very difficult times and nothing must be taken for granted. And if Jeyne is indeed living in New York, then what? Is it still realistic to believe you can continue where you left off? Even under the most ideal of circumstances, realizing that kind of love will still prove to be very difficult, if it can exist at all.”
“I hear you, and my concerns echo yours,” I said, still determined. “But I have to know, one way or the other. If I don’t find her, then I guess I have no choice but to leave her in my memory and move on.”
Haydon looked into the fire. “I’m sure Elizabeth would want that,” he said, his voice sounding distant. “What you feel for her will never compare to what you felt for Jeyne. No one should ask you to sacrifice those feelings, but you must sacrifice something. After all, you were only a teenager when you fell in love.”
“And yet it has endured,” I said.
I stood up and stared out the window at the storm that was now raging. In the distance, I could see the slaves hurriedly leaving the cotton fields upon my directive to not work when the weather became too unbearable. Flashes of lightning appeared in the sky and I was glad of it, if nothing but to ease their burdens for a few hours.
“Everything I am is tied to Bellevue,” I said as I studied the vast grounds in front of me. “I wake up feeling the past, living it. But when I try to imagine a future, Bellevue is nowhere in it. It’s somewhere far away from here. I know have obligations to it, the main one being to carry on the White name whatever that really means. That’s why I married Elizabeth. It seemed the most logical thing to do. She was young, beautiful and she loved me, or so I thought. In retrospect, I realize now we were never compatible.”
“Compatibility is not required to create heirs, just cooperation.”
“And therein lies the issue. I am no longer interested in cooperating.”
“So what will you do if you find her?”
“That, I don't know.” I stared out blankly at the vast grounds, taking in my cousin’s words. “A part of me wishes my father had destroyed those letters. It’s as if he is torturing me all over again. But this is fate and I accept it. To those looking from the outside, going to New York is unwise. But I have to follow my heart. I must...or I die.”
Haydon rose from his chair and put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. “Thomas, you know I will support you in anything you do.”
I turned to him. “Thank you, cousin,” I said, trying hard not to release all the emotions that had welled up in my chest.
“Well, enough about New York for now,” I said. “I hope you brought your party clothes because we’ve been invited to a ball.”
“A ball?”
I smiled. “Next Saturday. It’s an invitation from Elizabeth’s mother so we can’t refuse.”
Haydon groaned in disgust. Privately, Haydon hated parties and only tolerated them because he knew they were a necessity, especially when it came to gaining support in high places.
“I hate these affairs, too,” I explained, “but if we hope to have peace in this house, we must attend. Besides, everyone of importance will be there, even those whothinkthey’re important.”
“In that case, I’ll definitely be there,” Haydon said with a mischievous grin. “It’s time to see how much trouble this northerner can get himself into.”
