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I blew my nose again. “You say that, and I know you mean it. But I also know that Cole’s father meant it—hemeanthe would do something bad to Cole. So what’s going to happen now, huh? What’s going to happen now that Cole knows?”
I started crying again. “I don’t care anymore about what his father will do to me. As far as I see it, my life is over. I got nothing left.”
“Jenny!” Audrey sprang up and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in for a tight embrace. “Please don’t talk like that! You’re my best friend, and I love you. Cole loves you.”
“No, he doesn’t. Not anymore.” I started crying harder, and I pulled away. “Don’t let me get snot in your nice, clean hair.”
“I don’t care about my hair.” Audrey hugged me tighter. “But I do care aboutyou. And I know that Cole loves you, and if he’s a good guy like I think he is, he’ll understand what you did. He’ll forgive you.”
“No, he won’t.” I roughly wiped my eyes. “He said this morning that he never should have trusted me, and he was right. I lied to him. And I hid things from him. You don’t do that when you love a person.”
“You do if you’re trying to protect them,” Audrey said gently.
I pulled back and blew my nose again. “Back when this first started, I was only protecting myself. I didn’t want Cole to know the truth about me.”
“Jenny, we’ve all done things we aren’t proud of.”
“Nah, it’s worse than just hooking.” I shook my head. “I did some bad shit when I was younger, Dre. Real bad. Shit I didn’t want anyone to ever find out about.”
Audrey sighed. “You’re a good person, Jenny. Even if you did something bad, I’m sure it was for a good reason.”
“Oh, it was, sure.” I felt like I might throw up.
The room got quiet for a moment. The air felt heavy.
Never had I ever told anyone my secret.
“You can tell me, you know,” Audrey said gently. “You can tell me anything.”
I took a deep breath. “You know what?”
“What?”
“I want to, and I will tell you the truth,” I said. But I need to tell Cole first. Do you understand that?”
Audrey nodded, eyes wide. “I do. I would be the same way with James. I’m your best friend, but he’s your… person.”
I nodded. “He’s my person.”
And even if he never wanted to see me again and no longer wanted to be mine, I owed him the truth.
I wiped my face again. “Thanks, Audrey. It’s nice to have a friend. To have someone to talk to—someone who understands. I never had that before, you know?”
Audrey hugged me hard. And did I imagine it, or were her tears leaking into my curls?
“I do know, Jenny,” she said, “I sure do.”
Two hours later,I was at the airport waiting for my flight.
I’m waiting for my update, Lewis Bryson texted me.
I don’t have one for you,I furiously typed back.So you can go die in a hole.I hit send before I chickened out.
Cole’s father responded immediately.By the time I’m through with you, you will know what being sorry really feels like.
They called my flight. Relieved, I shut my phone off.
The devil had my number, but the one person I wanted to hear from would never call me again.
