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My breath catches at his words. In truth, I’ve missed him too. More than I like or would ever care to admit. And that’s the problem. I shouldn’t feel that way, I shouldn’t be feeling any of the things I feel toward him. He’s with Cat, my best friend. He’s about to propose marriage to her, which means he must be in love with her. I’ve allowed myself to get too close—too attached to him. It isn’t right, and I need to keep my distance.
“Please don’t let one silly argument ruin our friendship. I certainly don’t want the stupid things I said to cause you to make poor decisions.” His eyes slide toward the back of the coffee shop where Levi headed a moment ago, and I huff out a curt laugh, my jaw ticking and arms crossing as they land on me again.
“I can assure you; your words have no bearing on my decisions. Good, bad or otherwise.”
“No? Then why aren’t you and Cat speaking?”
“I’ve been busy.” My stomach knots with my lie. I’m honestly surprised that Cat told Spencer she hasn’t spoken to me, given the reason behind it. “Why, what has she said?”
“She hasn’t said anything, she didn’t need to. I can tell something’s been eating at her. She’s been quiet and distant.”
I huff, my jaw grinding as my nostrils flare. “And you’re blaming me for that?”
He rubs his thumb and forefinger over his brow, letting out a long breath as his arm drops back to his side. “No, I’m merely trying to say that I think you should call her so the two of you can work through whatever is going on.”
My teeth nearly pierce my bottom lip as I bite down on it to keep myself from saying all the things I want to say. I want to tell him what a blind fool he’s being, but I can’t. Instead, I take a calming breath and give him a condescending smile.
“I’ll be sure to do that. Please tell Levi I’m in the car.” I half expect him to block my path as I skirt around him, but he merely sighs and hangs his head as I pass.
As I reach the exit, he calls out my name, and I reluctantly turn to face him.
“I have one more question.” I gesture for him to go on. “What do you know about Lawrence?”
My face heats, lead filled guilt weighing heavy in the pit of my gut. “Nothing,” I lie before turning to walk out the door. As much as I may hate all of this, it needs to play out without my interference.
Spencer
My eyes study the candlelight as it dances, my mind still scrambling to figure out what I’m going to say to Cat. I’ve been so nervous that we’ve barely spoken during dinner—the one that I’d nearly burned because I was so distracted. I’ve spent a lot of hours over the past week contemplating my life, considering where I am, where I want to be, and even how I got here. My head has been telling me I’m on the right path, while everyone around me seems to be telling me otherwise, and my heart doesn’t seem to know which direction it’s going in anymore.
Cat clears her throat, bringing my attention to the other side of the table. She gives me a bright smile, placing her fork and napkin on her plate which is surprisingly nearly empty. “Dinner was perfect. Thank you.”
When I planned this dinner for Cat, I still wasn’t entirely sure what my plan was. It took being with her and seeing her for things to become focused. But knowing what needs to be done is always easier than doing it.
My heart is beating so rapidly in my chest, my hands sweaty from the nervous energy coursing through my veins. There’s a good possibility this night will end with tears. Whether those tears are good or bad ones is still up in the air.
“I’m just glad you’re feeling better,” I say, getting up to clear the table.
Cat gives me a weak smile as I pick up her plate, yet another telling sign she isn’t being honest with me. Normally, I’m not a suspicious or jealous person, but Cat blew me off several times over the past couple weeks. Truth be told, she’s been acting funny since she went to Caroline’s. And I saw the way she changed when that Lawrence guy was around. She said he was only an old friend, but there was obviously something more there. Cat told me herself that she’d been in love once, and I can’t help wondering if it was with Lawrence. If maybe seeing him stirred up old feelings, and that’s what’s caused things to be off between us. But to be fair, I think things have always been a little askew in our relationship. It’s possible that she’s merely come to the same realizations that I have recently.
“Yeah…” She shifts nervously in her chair as she tucks her hair behind her ear, and I head over to the sink. “I’m sorry I’ve been distant the past couple weeks. There was a lot on my mind, and I had some things I needed to work through.”
Nodding, I place the plates in the sink then take the small black box out of my pocket, clutching it tightly in my hand as I walk back over to the kitchen table.
“That’s okay,” I say, smiling down at her. “It actually gave me some much-needed time to think as well.”
She gasps when I place the box down on the table in front of her, her eyes unblinking as she looks down at it then back up at me. “Spencer…is that?”
“It was meant for you, yes.”
Her face falls, her shoulders slumping as her eyes become wet with tears. “Was?” Her voice cracks as she tilts her head.
My chest tightens from the fear and hurt in her stare, causing me to nearly lose my nerve, but I know in my heart things between us need to come to an end.
“I love you, Cat. And I know you love me, but you’re not in love with me.” She shakes her head in protest, wiping away the tears falling down her face, but I hold my hand up, urging her to let me continue. “It’s okay. I think we both got carried away. Both of us in love with the idea of being in love and living happily ever after.”
She shoots to her feet, her head still adamantly shaking in dispute of my words. “No, that’s not true. Why are you saying this? Is this about Lawrence? What did Lori tell you?”
Her question strikes me like a warning blow, and I instinctively take a step back. I suspected Cat still had feelings for Lawrence, but I hadn’t imagined that she acted on them.
