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“How did you decide to come home? You left town, after all. What made you buy the bookstore? And do you have any regrets?”
Those were some personal questions, but she didn’t begrudge Zack asking them. He seemed to be in the grips of some sort of “who-am-I-and-what-do-I-want-to-be” crisis. For a man that had never questioned his goals, this had to be maddening.
“No, but I was never as sure as you were about my future. I didn’t live in Los Angeles because I wanted to get out of town. I left for school and then got a job. I lived there and I liked it fine. But when my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I wanted a change. And I wanted to be closer to my family. Mom’s health wasn’t so good, although she’s fine now. I came home without much of a plan, but then I saw that the bookstore was for sale. It gave me a purpose, and I haven’t regretted coming back here at all. To be honest, I should have dumped my ex a lot sooner than I did.”
“Kind of a jerk?”
“I’d changed, and he was still the same. That was the problem. He didn’t want to adult, so he left it to me to be the grown-up. I didn’t have a partner; I had a dependent. He held down a job and everything, but he fought any responsibility. He wanted to be carefree and unencumbered. So, I let him. Last I heard, he was living with three roommates, divorced after a six-month marriage, and engaged to a twenty-two-year-old. I hope one of them cleans the bathroom, because he sure as hell never did.”
She had too many vivid memories of Michael making messes and expecting “someone” to come behind him and clean up. Like he was ten years old. He kept telling her that she didn’t have to do it, but she knew that someone needed to or they would live in squalor - a state that didn’t seem to bother him. As long as his PlayStation worked and the Wi-Fi was on - and beer in the fridge - he was happy.
They’d rarely argued. They’d just grown apart with different goals. It had been sort of sad but freeing when they’d ended things. He’d seemed a bit relieved as well.
“I don’t have any ill will toward him,” she went on. “Michael is a good person with a kind heart, but I always knew I wanted to move back home, and there was no way he was going to do that. We were going to break up at some point anyway. We have mutual friends still, and I want him to be happy. I think he wishes the same for me.”
“That sounds way more mature than most of my relationships. Although to be honest, I worked so much I didn’t have many actual relationships.”
“More situationships?”
“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
“Rumors have gone around town that you’ve dated supermodels and actresses.”
His expression changed slightly, and she had to laugh.
“So the rumors are correct?”
“I might have dated a few models or actresses over the years. I’ve never really been in a long-term relationship. I think my longest was about a year.”
“Why did it end?”
“She said I was emotionally unavailable.”
“Ouch. Were you?”
“Yes,” he replied immediately. “But I’d warned her that work was very important to me. I don’t think she believed me.”
“She probably thought it would be different with her,” Lucy suggested.
“She said that. She thought she would be different. She was angry that she wasn’t.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
The question popped out of her mouth before she could stop it. It was none of her business…but she kind of wanted to know.
“No,” Zack responded, the word drawn out slowly. “No. I don’t think that I have. Unless you count Millie Hartfield in first grade. I kissed her at the swings, and she socked me in the nose.”
“Love hurts,” Lucy giggled. “I hope that women haven’t made that a habit in your life.”
“These days I make sure that my attention is welcome.”
“How do you do that?”
“I let them make the first move.”
“If you wanted to kiss me, you wouldn’t do anything about it? You’d just wait for me to do it?”
A man as good-looking as Zackery Winslow could get away with that. Other mortals? Not so much.
