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“Perfect,” I tell her, my attempt at a smile falling a little short.
“Umm,” she says as she stands, her cheeks flame red from this entire conversation. “My calendar says not this week, but next week, so that blood work—”
“Needs to be done quickly. I’ll head to the clinic after work.”
“Can I request that you go to one out of town? I think they might be faster than Dr. Millway.”
“Of course,” I tell her, but I wonder if she isn’t worried people will find out what our plan is.
Am I enough to be her baby’s father but not enough for people to know we had sex to make it happen?
Chapter 10
Adalynn
“I don’t know why you’re trying to deny it. I know what sex prep looks like.”
“Madison!” I screech, my cheeks heating as I glare at her.
We’re sitting in a nail salon getting pedicures. I don’t know the women here but that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing.
“That’s not what this is.”
“Liar,” she says, and the woman massaging my calf chuckles. Thankfully, she doesn’t make eye contact.
I don’t know why I’ve always been embarrassed with sex talk. I’ve just always felt like it was a conversation meant to be had in private, between partners, not an open-forum discussion with anyone who wanted to join.
“I’m just glad you decided against going to the clinic. Cash is going to rock your world.”
Nerves make me speak. “I gave him rules.”
“Rules in the bedroom?” the woman sitting at my feet asks. “Kinky.”
“What kind of rules?” Madison asks. The tone of her voice tells me that she knows me well enough to know they aren’t kinky rules.
“No excessive touching. No kissing, no—”
“No kissing? Adalynn, you can’t be serious.”
“I can’t,” I tell her, feeling like I’m on the verge of tears. “It makes it too personal.”
“Adalynn,” she says with sadness. “This may not be the best idea.”
“Orgasms are always a good idea,” the other woman says, her laughter a tinkling sound that on any other day would probably make me smile.
“It’s decided,” I tell her, giving the other woman a fake smile.
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” my friend says.
I shake my head, but I can’t speak.
There’s no world where I get to have Cash as mine forever. I rejected the idea of doing this with him because of how I knew it would make me feel. I’m fully onboard with the idea that knowing what I’m missing is going to be worse than not knowing, but at the same time, I know I’ll swim in regret for the rest of my life if I don’t.
I want Cash Tucker to be the father of my children. I’ve wanted that since I was in junior high and spent my weekends tearing apart my mother’s magazines and making numerous vision boards.
If the dream wedding and little house with the wraparound porch isn’t going to be part of my future, then I can accept that.
Carrying another man’s child? Just the thought makes my skin crawl.
